Fitz Blog: Antenori fed up with "limp-wristed" Republican party

2013-01-15T08:45:00Z 2013-01-15T17:00:22Z Fitz Blog: Antenori fed up with "limp-wristed" Republican partyDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star Arizona Daily Star
January 15, 2013 8:45 am  • 

Addendum: It has come to my attention that Mr.Antenori called to express concern that this blog submission was not clearly labeled as satire. With that thoughtful concern in mind I wish to inform readers that this blog is satire, made entirely from the fruit of the famous Sarcasm Trees which flourish in the Satirical Islands west of Borneo. Furthermore, the Satire General has found that satire may cause snickering. I regret that any readers would find the absurd scenario depicted in this blog plausible and I would go so far as to add I am willing to feign shock and surprise that such would be the case.

Inspired by Councilman Steve Kozachik’s change in party registration, light bulb foe and night varmint hunter, former State Senator Frank Antenori announced he is leaving the Republican Party saying the GOP has not "lurched far enough to the right" in Arizona. “Sure it’s off the cliff and dancing over the abyss like Wiley Coyote, but that’s not far enough, if you ask me. I want my party to dive off the cliff like Greg Louganis with roman candles up his whazoo. That’s why I’m starting my own party, the Really Real Super American Republican Party.”

"Did you see Brewer's speech? She's gone red on us!! Whether it's on immigration, gay rights, education, or yuck--- women's reproductive rights--- the Republican Party hasn’t completely alienated everyone in America." He paused, patted his holster and winked," And alienating everyone is what I’m all about. The Republican party’s out of touch with informed citizens like me who know for a fact that Glenn Beck is a Marxist toad and Rush Limbaugh is nothing but a limp-wristed bleeding heart loser!"  A crowd of followers consisting of a stray dog and a homeless man watched as he pinned his party registration card to a stuffed elephant doll and then tied the whole assemblage to a saguaro with barbed wire he claimed he ripped off of the Berlin Wall with his bare hands in '79. He then unloaded a vintage Gatling gun from the back of his pickup truck, rolled it into place and blasted the assemblage to pieces.





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David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

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