Fitz Blog: Cosmos forgets Earth Day, planet despondent

2013-04-23T11:00:00Z 2015-02-03T11:34:44Z Fitz Blog: Cosmos forgets Earth Day, planet despondentDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star Arizona Daily Star

Earth: You forgot Earth Day! Again!

Moon: Dude! I completely forgot!

Earth: You and the whole solar system.

Moon: Lighten up dude. The whole world doesn’t revolve around you.

Earth: Oh yeah? You revolve around me, Mister Moon.

Moon: I’m totally kidding, dude. I didn’t forgot! I got you a card. I found it in the Birthday section between Sympathy and Asteroids’ Birthdays. Sorry it's a day late, but in geological time...

Earth: You remembered! Thanks, moon. And a cake! Made of Moon Pies! You’re the best moon ever.

Moon: Better than Titan or Phobos?

Earth: Absolutely. Thanks.

Moon: You’re welcome. Make an Earth Day wish.

Earth: Okay

Moon: Blow out the candles.

Earth: Now what? Is a Greenpeace activist going to jump out the cake? Do I get the carbon tax I’ve been hoping for?

Moon: In a Jovian leap year. Hey! Lighten up. You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion years old!

Earth: Very funny. Here have a piece.

Moon: Thanks. You know what they say, dude. 5 billion is the new 30! What did you wish for?

Earth: To get the monkeys off my back. 23 million years of evolution and Honey Boo Boo is their zenith. What I wouldn't give for smarter parasites. They're fleas with thumbs, moon. Ticks with wallets."Users”, dude. You think you have a dark side? You should see these jokers.

Moon: I see them every night. Come on. In a million years they'll be gone. Happy day after Earth Day, buddy.

Earth: Thanks for the card and cake.

Moon: Catch you on the other side.

Copyright 2015 Arizona Daily Star. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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