Fitz Blog: Every gun is sacred

2013-04-18T14:00:00Z 2013-04-18T14:14:16Z Fitz Blog: Every gun is sacredDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star Arizona Daily Star

Every Gun is Sacred (Sung to the tune “Every Sperm is sacred”)

Apologies to Monty Python, Inspired by my friend Malice


There are collectors and there are hunters, There are gun owners and gun smiths, and then,

There are shooters that think for themselves, but I've never been one of them,

I'm a Gundamentalist.

And have been since before I was born, And the one thing I’ll say about firearms is

There’s nothing as beautiful and warm.

You don't have to own a six-shooter, You don't have to have a great brain

To know that to destroy an American gun, Is Un-American sacrilegious and profane!

Because every gun is sacred, Every gun is great.

If a gun is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen destroy theirs, Grind them into the ground,

God shall make them pay for, Each gun that can't be found.

Every gun is wanted, Every gun is good,

Every gun is needed, In your neighborhood.

Every bullet’s sacred, Every clip is great,

If a crowd gets wasted, Don’t get so irate.

Uzzis, Glocks and Bushmasters can be found anywhere!

And God loves those who treat them with adoring care!

Every gun is sacred, Every gun is good.

Every gun is needed, In your church and school.

Every gun is useful, Every gun is fine.

God needs everybody's, Yours and yours! And mine!

Let the pagan dump theirs, They can’t feel our pain.

God shall strike them down for, Gun’s sold back in vain.

Every gun is wanted, Every gun is good,

Every gun comes first, In your neighborhood.

Every gun is sacred, Every gun is great.

If a child gets gunned down, Don’t get so irate.

Copyright 2015 Arizona Daily Star. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

To reach Fitz call 520-573-4234 (office) or email him at

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