Jonathan Winters


According to the Paradise Observer, the late comedian Jonathan Winters arrived in Heaven Thursday and opened with a stunning 45-minutes of cloud breaking improvisation with a halo handed to him by the late Jack Paar.

“What is this? An engagement ring for 50-Foot Woman? No , it’s God’s keyring. You tell me, St. Peter, what is Dumbo’s ankle bracelet doing up here? You can keep the wings, Gabriel, I’ve been winging it all of my life."

Holding it up for all to see he asked," Do I put this thing over my head or," hopping on one leg and chanting, he asked," should I perform a tribal hoop dance with it?"

Transforming himself into an elderly matron struggling to pass her head through the halo he said," Look. It's Maude Frickert’s neck brace." Unsatisfied with the poor fit he tossed it onto a nearby cloud.

"Don't step near it. Watch yourself. It’s a 24 karat gold ACME portable hole. Special Delivery for Wiley Coyote!"

Scooping it up he morphed into a mandarin magician and said,"now I’d like to do a Chinese ring trick...” Peeking through the halo he closed with a spot-on Porky Pig impression,"that's all folks. Three shows daily. I'll be appearing at the Hungry Cloud indefinitely."

Laughter reportedly filled the firmament.