President Barack Obama checks to see if it is still raining scandals.. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

This Obama scandal is bigger than Watergate and ________. (pick one)

a) Justin Bieber is hotter than the Beatles.

b) Bilbo Baggins is taller than Shaq

c) Tinkerbell in heels is bigger than the Statue of Liberty

e) Mitch McConnell is hotter than Brad Pitt

f) John Boehner is smarter than Honey Boo Boo

g) corporations don’t own Washington D.C.

h) 87% of Americans are Watergate scholars

i) docents at the Nixon Presidential library can’t seem to locate the source of ghostly laughter coming for the late President's grave site.

j) politicians prefer problem solving to campaign red meat and witch hunts