Fitz Blog: Sin City Saddlebrook

2013-10-22T11:00:00Z 2014-07-15T12:24:28Z Fitz Blog: Sin City SaddlebrookDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star​ Arizona Daily Star

Amazing story out of Arizona, folks. Here's the shocking headline:

”Husband shoots man found in bed with his wife in Saddlebrook.”

Now that’s what I call an active Senior community. And contrary to early reports "Saddlebrook" is not a yoga position.

This is what happened. A 68-year old man found a 22-year old man in bed with his 63-year old bride and shot him. How juicy is this news story? Nancy Grace is already on a plane, Geraldo Rivera is trolling the Saddlebrook Watercolor Guild for sources and Anderson Cooper is sampling casseroles down at the Lutheran Church.

Anyway the poor old fellow found them together in their guest house. Which brings up the question we're all asking: Why did she ever ask Kato Kaelin to move out?

Magoo poked the alleged poker with a cane, accosted the pokee and shouted what any Saddlebrooker would have shouted: ” get off my wife’s lawn”.

The lusty Romeo, Stephen Trevor Chapman, refused to leave. And you, dear reader,refused to stop reading.

So granddad shot him in the hand, which is surprising since the offender’s hand was not the problem here.

The Pinal County Sheriff's Department booked Stephen Trevor Chapman for possession of an amazing libido  and disorderly conduct. Looking at his mugshot I can see Jim Carrey will be perfect in the film role.

My ears on the ground in tinsel town tell me movie agents are already buzzing.They even a have a name for the project: “Fifty shades of Gray Hair”

As for the little woman, I thought Arizona Game and Fish took care of the cougar problem up there. Now they have no choice but to go door to door in Saddlebrook with tranquilizer darts. It's my understanding they relocate the cougars to someplace safe--like an ASU frat house.

I guess it could have been worse. In Three Points the story would have been about a father shooting his son. Don't cringe. You read this far, you shameless gawker.

On the sunny side it’s the first time in years the AARP and NRA have seen eye to eye on an issue. They'll issue a joint statement as soon as they stop giggling at the terrible misfortune of the troubled couple.

My advice? Contrary to what the manufacturers of Cialis say, I think elderly couples should not stick to separate bathtubs on a beach. it only spells trouble.

This just in. Anderson Cooper would love another helping of egg salad.

Bada-boom bada-bing.Here all week.

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About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

To reach Fitz call 520-573-4234 (office) or email him at tooner@tucson.com.

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