Ex-Tatooine mayoral hopeful plans free light sabers for high-crime areas of galaxy

Tucson residents living in crime-ridden areas could soon receive free light sabers.

Operating on the premise an armed terrestrial is a safer terrestrial, a group led by former mayoral candidate Shaun “Skywalker” McClusky is raising money to purchase light sabers and provide “force” training for anyone who lives in a mid- to high-crime neighborhood and can name all 5 Star Wars movies.

The project is part of a developing universe-wide movement to see if more light sabers really do translate into less “dark side”.

“Skywalker” McClusky said he's bringing the program to Tucson because the City Council has failed to properly fund the rebel forces, leaving many residents easy targets for the Empire."It doesn't take a Yoda to figure that out."

"We need to take back our galaxy, and it needs to come back to the force and not the dark side," McClusky said. "Right now, Darth is winning."