Fitz Blog: Your weekly update of nonsense with a side of salsa

2013-07-31T11:45:00Z 2013-07-31T12:55:39Z Fitz Blog: Your weekly update of nonsense with a side of salsaDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star Arizona Daily Star

Good news. Pope Francis won't judge gays. And gays won't judge him for his gauche beanie and slippers ensemble.

Headlines :

Bradley Manning found guilty of revealing crimes.

Weiner cleared of sexting state secret charges: Insufficient evidence.

Snowden gets job working at Moscow Airport KFC, fired for revealing "Extra crispy" recipe.

Weiners and losers

Who is “Carlos Danger”? Is he being suspended from major league baseball for using steroids? I gotta pay closer attention to this stuff. Be careful at the gym when asking about doping. 'Roids are not steroids. One is injected and the other just hangs around.

Local News Update

Say "Thanks" to the Greek Community for making Tucson a bit of Heaven every year with their fabulous Greek festival. This year you’ll have to show up at the Jazz Fest at the Fox fundraiser to help repair St. Demetrios--not the Saint himself, but the building. And to think I was finally learning to handle my Uzo.

Adios Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Environmentalist Priscilla Robinson died. A cool dame. A force for good who spent her life serving our community--so much so she never had any time to squander as an online commenter.

Dome Sweet Dome

I support a bond to fix the distinctive dome on the Pima County Courthouse. I vote for a giant toupee from Wig-o-rama. Keep Tucson weird.

On The Roads Again

The Feds tell us Tucson's bridges are in worst shape than our streets. Will Congress fund infrastructure repair? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Actually you can cross it. I'll avoid it.

The County wants to build a looping interstate for all the trade with Mexico that will be pouring in. Does America still build "infrastructure"? Isn't the role of government simply to police our border and bedrooms?

This will cost tax dollars that should be spent on walls. It will employ hundreds of engineers, builders and laborers and benefit the community at large. Isn't working for the government "socialism"? Some would even dare to call it an "investment". Now when you hear the word "investment" you know what that means. O-bamanation. Alert the House of representatives.

Something positive is in the works. And even worse, it will improve our relationship with Mexico and make it lucrative. What's with that? Now building a wall and a moat I can understand and with an unlimited budget--but promoting trade and commerce with the people we've been demonizing for years? I'm incapable of constructive thought. Kill it. Alert the Tea Party.

The World Out There

Scores of pro-Morsi Islamists were killed this week. Goodbye ballots, we're back to bullets. After the Arab Spring it's Ground Hog Day over and over and over again.

PCC Board in the News

PCC Board will join the groping San Diego mayor, and the sexting candidate Anthony Wiener in “new training”. I wish I could land a top dollar gig as an "ethics consultant". I think in some parts of the world that's called a "conscience". How much is PCC paying Jiminy Cricket & Associates?

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About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

To reach Fitz call 520-573-4234 (office) or email him at tooner@tucson.com.

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