Fitz: McCain's pain

2014-01-27T08:00:00Z 2015-02-03T11:04:31Z Fitz: McCain's painDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star​ Arizona Daily Star

The Arizona Republican Party formally censured Sen. John McCain, telling him to "get off the lawn" of their state party headquarters, which is located in a tree in Mesa. The resolution to censure McCain was approved by a burst of semi-automatic weapons fire during a meeting of state committee members in the official party tree in Tempe, according to state party spokesman Gabby Hayes. Arizona Republicans accused the Senator of, "leaving the tree, walking upright, possessing opposeable thumbs, and using complex tools."  Hayes said, "The man's a hippy. He just ain't one of us no more. When he jumped down from our tree and stood up off of his forepaws we began to wonder just what exactly he stood for. He ain't getting no more bananas from us, that's for sure. Next thing you know he'll come out in support of amnesty for minorities and women."

The press which had gathered below the tree was pelted with coconuts and bananas.

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