Fitz: Melvin

2014-02-25T09:30:00Z 2014-02-25T14:39:52Z Fitz: MelvinDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star​ Arizona Daily Star

Bravo to State Senator Al Melvin, the pride of Saddlebrook, for his impressive appearance on CNN opposite Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper was trying to set up the wily proponent of the anti-gay bill but our cagey Melvin outsmarted him. "I won’t stand for it, sir.”

When Melvin speaks he makes Glenn Beck weep.

"This bill was designed for religious freedom no matter how you turn or twist it." His astute arguments possessed all the theological depth of an Elmer Gantry sermon coupled with an appreciation for democratic values that is as lovely, yet as hollow, as the Statue of Liberty.

Anderson: If a gay or lesbian is fired for being gay or lesbian isn’t that  discrimination?

Al: I don’t no anybody in this state who was..I don’t know of any case where anyone has been fired because they’re...

He couldn't say it. Al, when you run for Governor (insert manical laughter here) toddle outside of Saddlebrook and take a tour of the modern world.

When did "Larry the Cable Guy's" grandfather toss on a suit and wander away from the shed? Al Melvin for Governor?  What's next? Ted Nugent for Attorney General?

Have you ever known the kind of old guy at the Country Club who loves to share the insights he gleans from  talk radio and Fox News like he's tapped into a source of secret knowledge--that if only the rest of you understood--we could save western civilization from the hippies and other agitators? The sort of blowhard who makes most people living outside of his bizarre Pleasantville roll their eyes in disbelief at the things he says aloud? The empty God-fearing American who's convinced he's more pious and more patriotic than the inferiors he's forced to tolerate? I knew a guy like that. State Senator Al Melvin. Saddlebrook made him their King.

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About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

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