Unhappy with the Sochi Winter Olympics torch selected by the Olympic Committee, Russian President, King, Czar and Prime Minister Vladmir Putin offered up his personal KGB dungeon torch for the Sochi Winter Olympics to use and display for the upcoming Winter games. "I will also throw in the matching cauldron, branding irons and shackles for nothing."

Sochi figure skating judges are expected to give Putin an overall 2.9 score for skating on thin ice with free speech advocates and gay-friendly nations.

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