Fitz: Vultures versus Vouchers

2014-03-11T09:30:00Z 2014-03-11T10:16:29Z Fitz: Vultures versus VouchersDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star​ Arizona Daily Star

Are vultures nobler than vouchers? Both are bird-brained scavengers. There the similarity ends. Vultures feed off the dead. Vouchers feed off public education. Let's take a closer look at vultures versus vouchers.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures don’t attack healthy creatures with their sharp bills and talons whereas vouchers have been tearing away at public education for decades.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures make a squawking call. Vouchers make robo-calls with a honking "Hupp-Hupp-huppenthal" sound.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Did you know that in some  parts of the world some vulture species are endangered? Coincidentally, in Arizona, public education is endangered, thanks to vouchers.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures will gorge at a carcass and regurgitate food from their crop to feed their young. Vouchers gorge at public school funds and regurgitate the money to feed their backer’s private schools.

Vultures vs. vouchers: I was impressed to learn that vultures prevent the spread of diseases by devouring rotting corpses. Vouchers, on the other hand, allow unregulated charter schools to breed and spread, rot and then die, where they are left untended by the state.

Vultures vs. vouchers: When threatened, vultures vomit to lighten their body weight before they flee. When threatened, vouchers vomit half-truths and lies.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures don’t leave anything to waste.Vouchers will lay waste to public education dollars.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures keep the desert clean while vouchers encourage the unfit to flourish in the shadows, crowding out public schools accountable to the public.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures have two wings allowing them to soar freely. Vouchers are strictly right-wing creatures that circle endlessly over public schools.

Vultures vs. vouchers: Vultures lay eggs that hatch chicks. Vouchers are bad eggs hatched by right-wing think tanks.

To summarize:Vultures make our world a better place. Vouchers make the world a better place only for those who hate public education. Vultures solve problems.Vouchers choose not to solve problems.

Copyright 2014 Arizona Daily Star. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

To reach Fitz call 520-573-4234 (office) or email him at tooner@tucson.com.

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