While rest of nation freezes, a happy Tucsonan uses a snowblower to clear the walk way in front of his casita of cocaine from recent border bust.

This week's monster winter storm proves 3 things:

1.Living in Tucson is worth the summers.

2.Living in Tucson is worth the summers.

3.Living in Tucson is worth the summers.

Headlines:

Half of Saddlebrook certain Polar Vortex is a condition they need to see their doctor about.

Hundreds of global warming deniers celebrate freak winter storm, freeze to death in street celebration outside FOX studios.

Polar Vortex seen over Sedona, new-agers abducted by space aliens wearing ear muffs.

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