Fitz: Your Monday Morning Fitz Quiz

2014-03-24T08:00:00Z 2014-03-24T10:05:06Z Fitz: Your Monday Morning Fitz QuizDavid Fitzsimmons The Arizona Daily Star​ Arizona Daily Star

Dear Reader,

Here is your Monday morning quiz--your “Start of the Week Seven”. Are you informed? Are you in the know? Shouldn’t you be working? If you answer all 7 questions correctly--try again next Monday. Hopefully I'll crush your self-esteem then, smarty pants.

Airlines insist on using a Black box in this modern digital age of satellite uploads. Where is it on the plane?Next to the 8-track player or between the rotary phone and the cuckoo clock?

Bad news: Obamacare will cost the democrats the election in 2014. What's the good news? Shellacking is covered or no good effort goes unpunished?

Western intelligence missed Crimea and can’t find an airliner but knows my cell phone call to my daughter at 12:05 P.M. on 03/22/2014 lasted 4 minutes and 37 seconds with no mention of:

A) al-qaeda

B)Snowden

C)Gonzaga

True or false: The UA's new Center for Climate Adaptation Science & Solutions has a major donor: U-haul. “We’re U-haul--helping you to get the hell out of Stovetop, USA.

When it comes to global warming we here in Tucson are what is called “early adapters”. I prefer the term:

A)“Front line toast”

B)"Guinea Pigs in the microwave"

C)"Tanning salon rats"

All the King’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put the old Soviet Union together again so Humpty Putin invaded Crimea.

A)The end.

B) and the G-7 sat on a wall

C) and the President cried wolf

True or false? My boss is a devout worshipper of Baal (Reformed) and he doesn’t want any of us to use birth control, vaccinate our kids or get a blood transfusion so he is refusing to offer us health insurance coverage. He's feeling persecuted this week.

Debris sighted _____

A)in MRI of conspiracy nut’s brain may be new theory.

B) in ocean off Atlanta identified as CNN

C)My car keys

True or false? Recently Obama predicted Michigan State will win. Putin is such a bad boy. Russian troops have been spotted behind Louisville.

True or false: Policing my daughter's uterus is her boss’s hobby when he's not a lobbyist for the Hobby Lobby lobby.

Copyright 2014 Arizona Daily Star. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

About this blog

David Fitzsimmons is the Star's editorial cartoonist.

To reach Fitz call 520-573-4234 (office) or email him at tooner@tucson.com.

Fitz tweets

Featured businesses

View more...