Any day now Toronto Mayor Rob Ford will be getting __________.
a) a limo ride to Miraval
b) meth from "Heisenberg"
c) A reality show with Gary Bussey
d) A Canadian makeover: A plaid shirt and a splash of Old Spice.
e) A tranquilizer dart in the butt followed by a flash mob intervention, lap band surgery and a lobotomy.
f) Toronto’s Man of the Year Award
g) fan mail from Charlie Sheen
h) a sweet job offer to be Miley Cyrus’ new life coach