FILE - In this Nov. 7, 2013 file photo, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford addresses the media outside office in Torontoafter the release of a video showing Ford in a rage. Ford remains in office, resisting all attempts to force him out over his admitted crack use, drinking problem and appearance in a video that caught him threatening to "kill" someone. His powers were curtailed by the City Council on Friday, Nov. 15, 2013. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press,Nathan Denett)

Any day now Toronto Mayor Rob Ford will be getting __________.

 a) a limo ride to Miraval

 b) meth from "Heisenberg"

c) A reality show with Gary Bussey

d) A Canadian makeover: A plaid shirt and a splash of Old Spice.

e) A tranquilizer dart in the butt followed by a flash mob intervention, lap band surgery and a lobotomy.

f) Toronto’s Man of the Year Award

g) fan mail from Charlie Sheen

h) a sweet job offer to be Miley Cyrus’ new life coach

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