My brother and I are a year apart. Mom bathed us together until we were about 5 or 6, making it obvious that girls and boys had different anatomy.
Realizing the male gender’s brains were tuned into another channel took me much longer to figure out.
Because my brother didn’t speak until he was 5, I assumed men didn’t need to communicate by speaking. This assumption proved valid after research with other women. It seems that men speak to us telepathically, resulting in a world of confusion between males and females.
How many times has a woman heard “I told you I’d be home late for dinner” after she’s called the police, checked all the hospitals and watched her carefully planned dinner become inedible?
“You did? Gee, I must be getting forgetful.”
“That is a definite possibility,” her mate responds, eyeing her with concern.
Besides communicating without speaking, another quirk men possess is they must have three meals a day. You could be having the worst knock-down drag-out fight with one when all of a sudden he pauses, glances at his watch, looks you straight in the eye, and exclaims, “Holy cow. It’s after noon. What are we having for lunch?”
“How about a strangle sandwich?” you scream, while your companion looks at you as if you’re nuts.
Regarding romance, a friend recently told me she asked her husband if he still loved her. Dumbfounded, he tilted his head to the side, saying, “Of course I do. Why are you asking?”
Shrugging, she murmured, “I just wonder sometimes.”
“Listen,” he said, “I told you once I love you. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.”
On the other hand, men are intriguing, every so often brilliant and especially fun to be with when playful. Because they come from a unique planet, the world spins differently for them. Maybe they don’t tell you day and night that they can’t live without you, that you are the sun, the moon and the stars. But call them on the phone and say there is an emergency and even if they have to hire a helicopter, they’ll be there as soon as humanly possible.
At somber events like funerals or emotional affairs like your daughter graduating from university, they hold your hand.
Years ago I read a book about a society of women who learned how to reproduce themselves because men have the X-Y chromosomes where women have two Xs. No fun there!
When a man hugs me or nuzzles my neck or leads me to the dance floor, all the negatives disappear. Twirling on the dance floor, I am filled with incredible joy.
And if he sends flowers once in a while, that’s ecstasy!