Those pesky North Koreans. They won’t do what we command. What are they thinking? If that’s the case, then let’s just nuke ‘em and teach them a lesson. And those Chinese rascals. They transfer oil to the North Koreans in the middle of the ocean, and they’re building those islands in the Pacific. Let’s nuke them too.
And the Ukrainian rebels? They just keep fighting. Might as well nuke them and be done with it. So what if we lose a few U.S. cities in the process, and probably a few in South Korea. It’s a small price to pay for showing everyone that we’re the best. After all, we have a bigger nuclear button than anyone else.
Disclaimer: As submitted to the Arizona Daily Star.