They’re always there, even if they’re not even slightly part of any action that doesn’t involve food. But in the second episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s sixth season, two of the precinct’s mainstays are getting some time in the spotlight.

The fittingly titled “Hitchcock and Scully” explores the duo’s past through flashbacks centered around a resurfaced case from the ‘80s. Prepare to be surprised, and, as always, with Hitchcock and Scully, a little grossed out.

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Makes a Triumphant Return With Its NBC Premiere (RECAP)

'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Makes a Triumphant Return With Its NBC Premiere (RECAP)

In the Season 6 return, the show continues doing what it’s always done with aplomb: mixing humor and heart with real-world insight.

Investigation Time

The episode opens with a flashback from Hitchcock and Scully’s younger (and much more in-shape) years, during which they apprehend drug-dealing mob boss Gio Costa. It’s a cool sequence, but it becomes pretty important in the present day when Holt tells Jake and Boyle that Internal Affairs is interested that same case of Hitchcock and Scully’s. Jake and Boyle discover four bags of cash were recovered, but only three were logged.

That doesn’t look great for Hitchcock and Scully, and they certainly don’t help prove themselves innocent; they refuse to cooperate with Jake and Boyle’s questioning and investigation. When Jake and Boyle find out the pair are paying for a parking spot without having a car, they think they might have found an expensive sports car paid for in cash and ask to see what’s there — it turns out to be, in Jake’s words “a sketchy old sex van.”

Jake and Boyle dig around in the nasty innards of the aptly named “Beaver Trap,” and find the empty duffel for the missing bag of cash… but as soon as they find it, the van door slams and locks behind them, and Hitchcock and Scully drive away. Uh-oh.

(Vivian Zink/NBC)

Wing Slutz

Once Jake and Boyle break free, they use “Find my Phone” on Boyle’s phone to figure out where the disgusting duo have gone (Hitchcock and Scully took their car and Jake’s phone). They’re heading toward a restaurant called “Wing Slutz,” but without a car, how will Jake and Boyle get there? The answer is simple, if not ideal: The Beaver Trap.

Jake and Boyle get to Wing Slutz and start to arrest Hitchcock and Scully, but the manager stops them. She reveals that she’s Marissa Costa, Gio Costa's ex-wife. She was the informant for Hitchcock and Scully’s case, and the only reason they apprehended the mob boss in the first place. The police captain at the time wouldn’t put her in witness protection, so the cops kept the last bag of cash and gave it to her.

“Well, people are complicated,” Jake says, realizing the pair are good people. “These two contain … multitudes.”

Upstairs/Downstairs

In the rest of the precinct, Holt’s war on the NYPD and Kelly’s closing of the Nine-Nine’s lower level has made life cramped and uncomfortable. This brings out the worst in everyone, but especially Amy and Terry, who get into an argument because Amy’s squad of “downstairs people” keep messing up the kitchen for the “upstairs people.”

(Vivian Zink/NBC)

Naturally, Amy takes offense to being called a “downstairs person” and Terry’s obvious bias against the first floor. After Holt makes it clear he has no time for their squabbles, the two go to elaborate lengths to claim the kitchen for themselves. Terry goes to the widow of the man who donated the kitchen’s microwave and gets her to sign a contract saying that it’s only for “upstairs people.” Amy fakes a truce and retaliates by throwing a fish in the microwave, which not only stinks up the precinct — it explodes the microwave.

Visitors

Meanwhile, Holt’s having enough problems of his own. He’s set to do a televised interview about Kelly’s shortcomings as Commissioner, and Gina’s coaching him so that he’ll be a little more animated and lively on TV. Their lessons are interrupted by an unexpected, unwelcome visitor: Commissioner Kelly.

He’s there to — cheerfully — threaten Holt that if he goes through with the interview, things are going to get worse for the Nine-Nine. Their meeting is interrupted by Amy’s exploding-fish microwave, and after chastising his officers, Holt and Kelly have a standoff.

'The Good Place' Finally Makes It to Heaven in 'The Book Of Dougs' (RECAP)

'The Good Place' Finally Makes It to Heaven in 'The Book Of Dougs' (RECAP)

And true to form for this show, heaven definitely isn't what you were expecting it to be.

Kelly reveals he wasn’t behind Hitchcock and Scully’s investigation, and when Holt calls Jake to let him know, they realize the fake “investigation” was a setup by someone trying to find Marissa. As if on cue, a suspicious-looking car rolls up to Wing Slutz. Gio Costa has gotten out of jail.

The police usher everyone toward the back entrance through the kitchen, but the exit is blocked by gunmen, and the mobsters saw them trying to leave. Hitchcock and Scully say they can use the tubs of the restaurant’s “slut sauce” as bulletproof vests and promise they’ll make things right.

(Vivian Zink/NBC)

Saved by the Sauce

Hitchcock and Scully storm out the back entrance with full tubs of sauce taped around their midsections and guns blazing. When they stop yelling, Jake and Boyle, still inside, ask why. As it turns out, the Nine-Nine have showed up and apprehended Costa. He’s still outside, though, and attempts to shoot Marissa with a concealed gun. Hitchcock and Scully jump in front of her, and true to their claim, the slut sauce stopped the bullets and saved their lives.

Since Hitchcock and Scully did steal the money, even though it was for a good reason, there have to be consequences. Holt tells them they’ve been assigned a year of desk duty, which is music to their ears.

Gina did Holt’s televised interview, which was interesting, to say the least. Holt also apologizes to the squad for acting like his pursuit of justice was all that mattered and says he’ll keep fighting back, but not at their expense. Amy apologizes for her bickering with Terry. For a little while, all is well at the Nine-Nine.

(Vivian Zink/NBC)

Other Observations:

  • Boyle’s whole thing throughout this episode with Nikolaj’s half-brother, Dragomere, was both hilarious and a little baffling. Only could a character like Boyle truly believe that man was 15 years old.
  • Jake and Boyle’s reactions to seeing a photo of younger Hitchcock and Scully were absolutely priceless. Also priceless: the fact that it appears to be Wing Slutz that did the former hotties in.
  • I’m genuinely worried about the Nine-Nine in the overall scheme of this season. Good for Holt for not backing down, but Kelly seems like he’s not going to back down, either. Things could get a whole lot worse, and soon.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Thursdays, 9/8c, NBC