Fitz mug 3

I’m just waiting for the first politician to say it. Doesn't the Pope realize greed and selfishness are what makes America great?

NBC selected Arnold Schwarzenegger to replace Trump on "The Apprentice". That strikes me as yet another case of an immigrant taking a job from a real American.

If you live here it's good to be bilingual. It's embarrassing how many Tucsonans wrongly believe "chimichanga with sour cream" is an STD diagnosis.

The Pope asked us to love the immigrant, love the poor, love the earth, love the common good. That’s a very tough call for those who love dark money.

Ben Carson said the big bang theory was a “fairy tale” and the theory of evolution was encouraged by the devil. The next debate will feature dueling banjos.

Red light cameras save lives. I don't support banning red light cameras. I do support moving them all of them to within a 5 mile radius of John Kromko's house. The way he drives we could balance the city's budget in 6-weeks with his traffic fines alone.

This fall Apple will introduce the Hillary 6. It will be less robotic and offer secure email.

According to the EPA the G.O.P. political debates are producing enough methane to melt Greenland, Iceland and Antarctic by October.

Nearly 23 million Americans watched the GOP debate on CNN. Can you imagine what the ratings will be for the upcoming GOP debate on Comedy Central? Standing in front of Air Force One was a mistake. It looked like a debate between airline and rental car agents over who can fly us back to 1952 the quickest.

Donald Trump has a history of treating women like they're second-class citizens. I read the Republican platform on women's wages and reproductive rights. Seems like a perfect fit to me.

Geraldo Rivera sees need for urban green space where Greeks can haze newbies, sleep off binges, rape drugged coeds and "vomit in a lovely setting", donates $500K for park. "This will be a refuge where fraternities and sorority members can relax and study among the shade trees festooned with naked puke-sotted hazing initiates tied to their trunks from the night before."

Here’s some amazing science news. Scientists in South Africa have discovered fossils of new human-like species with a small brain. The “Don’t tread on me” T-shirts offer tantalizing clues.

Just one question: When will the Pope grant Jimmy Carter Sainthood?