Dear Donald Trump. I just submitted my taxes and there must be some mistake. Remember the "giant, beautiful, massive" tax cut you ran on? You know, the one the Republican Congress passed. Well, for me it works out to 67 cents per day. There must be something wrong. At this rate it will take me almost 7 years to save enough money to enroll in even the Basic 3 Day Course at Trump University. Who knows if it will even be around then? It will take 159 years to save enough for the Elite Course and I am pretty sure I won't be around then. Please check to see who got my share of the "giant, beautiful, massive" tax savings. Maybe you could ask around Mar-a-Lago to see if it turned up there.
Disclaimer: As submitted to the Arizona Daily Star.