Salutations, meant to welcome the reader, come in all kinds of dreary modes.
“Dear” seems unduly cozy.
“Greetings” works only for aliens, “Good evening” for vampires, “Darling” for the paperback cad. “Hello” suits Kitty. “‘Sup?” is reserved for the e-spondent in transit, via skateboard.
Perhaps best to skip the salutation. Follow the lead of strawberries, which offer no preamble, no “Dear Eater.” One fine day they simply appear — entirely welcome, never dreary. Time to heap them over shortcake and make short work of saluting spring.

