CARSON, Iris Arlene (Downing)
February 5, 1930 - June 17, 2021
I see her in me, in most everything I do. From the love and devotion for my family, how and what I cook, in my body language, how I disciplined my children, my hobbies and mostly in the face that stares back at me from the mirror. I see so much of her in me.
Iris Arlene Carson (Downing) left this earth in her human form and transitioned to her angel status on June 17, 2021, into the arms of our Lord, Jesus Christ and her loving husband of 71 years, Dean Carson, as well as many others who had gone before her.
Born to Doris and Lloyd Downing on February 5, 1930 in Colorado, joining her older siblings; brother, Thane and sisters, Thelma and Louise. Iris' early life was filled with great sorrow and difficulties. Her mother passed away just seventeen days after Iris was born due to complications from childbirth. At that time she went to live with her aunt Amanda and uncle Art on their farm where she said that she had a very happy childhood. She rode horses, her favorite was Trill, and would crawl up in the hay mow and find baby kittens. She lived there until she was six years old. After that, Iris went to live in various households due to an ever-changing family dynamic. During that time half-siblings, Carol, Gary and Duane joined Iris' blended family.Eventually she ended up back with her aunt Amanda until the age of thirteen when Amanda passed away and she returned to her father Lloyd and his wife Oda's house until the age of 16. After that Iris lived in various households, earning her keep by cleaning house, cooking and ironing; she also worked at the local drug store in Wray, Colorado. Half way through her senior year of high school she was invited to move into the love of her life, Dean Carson's family home.
After graduating from Wray High School in 1948, Iris moved to Greeley, Colorado and worked in the courthouse while Dean attended college there.
When I said that Dean Carson was the love of her life, a truer statement was never uttered. Dean and Iris started dating when they were 14 years old. He said that when he saw her playing football in her overalls with pigtails in her hair, he knew that she was the girl for him.
They dated all through high school and married in 1949. They started a family and tried farming for a while, but when Iris got pregnant with their second baby, she told Dean that they needed to move back into town because it was just too hard on the farm with no electricity, indoor plumbing, heat or running water. After finding out that their oldest son, Kit, was deaf, Dean and Iris moved to Tucson, Arizona so that he could attend The Arizona State School for the Deaf and Blind. Dean worked for a swimming pool construction company and Iris became the full-time wife and mother that she had wanted and longed for her entire life and boy was she good at it!
In 1961 Dean started Carson Concrete and Decking with Iris by his side, and it quickly became the premier concrete company in Tucson. It has been said that behind every successful man there is a woman leading the way and that is exactly what Iris did. Where Dean supported the family with his work and Carson Concrete, Iris was his secretary, and bookkeeper while at the same time nurturing, molding and supporting our family through her daily endeavors from home. She was so dedicated and worked so hard to raise six children. We always had clean clothes (15 loads a week), without a dryer, just a clothesline until the 70's. There was breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and this was in the days before microwave ovens. She told me that the neighborhood kids liked to come over because the house always smelled like something good was cooking. Mom was an excellent seamstress, making many prom and bridesmaids dresses, school clothes and homemade Halloween costumes. Refinishing furniture was a hobby that she found joy in and she produced some beautiful pieces that have been kept in the family. Mom spent so many hours sitting in bleachers watching her sons and daughters participate in multiple sports and other school activities. She was selfless, beautiful, strong and brave. She went ultra-gliding on the beach in Mexico at 70 years of age, and drove to Colorado by herself (just her, her cheese and crackers and her 38-special by her side). Mom liked to ride quads and go 4-wheeling and she pretty much bought all of the family cars on her own. Those salesmen didn't scare her. She was also a great dancer she mastered the twist. The two things that she did not accomplish in her life was going skydiving and getting a tattoo (just a small little rose). Mom was the disciplinarian in the family because she knew that dad wasn't. She said that her greatest accomplishment was producing and raising six children to adulthood without them ending up in prison or hooked on drugs. And that was during the 60's!
She wasn't just our mom she was a mom to every child she met. She was a fierce warrior and protector. She fought for those who couldn't fight for themselves. Mom found out that one of our friends had been beaten with a belt by her father. Mom went to their house and told the dad that if she ever saw so much as a bruise on our friend, she would take her away from him. She let our brother's friend stay in our camper when life at home got too hard. She bought gifts for children whose parents couldn't afford it and spent countless hours babysitting neighborhood children, who's single mothers had to go to work. She was also so compassionate for people in need. One time she was at the grocery store and there was a family, a mom, dad and a couple of children, and they didn't have enough money to pay for their groceries. So, she paid for their food and then invited them to stay with us for a few days until they could move on. During Christmas time, she would ask the A.S.D.B. school if there were children that would not be able to go home for the holiday, and there always were. So, there were many Christmases where we had extra children at the house and there were always presents for them as well as us. She was also an extreme animal lover. We made frequent trips to the Humane Society, where they knew her by name, and she would always take one of us kids with her so that when she would bring home a dog(s) or cat(s), she would tell dad that WE really wanted it. But he knew.Mom loved camping, fishing and hunting and she never complained about all of the work that she had to do to make those trips some of the best times of our lives. After mom and dad bought their house in Eagar, AZ, those great family get-togethers continued no matter how big the family got. The 4th of July celebration there became a family tradition including building a family float for the parade, an afternoon BBQ and the fireworks show at night. A lot of the family would bring their tents and RV's and set up on the back part of the property. We would sit around a campfire and tell stories about the family, passing on the history of the Carson clan. Mom and dad made sure that our family heritage, traditions, and skills were and are being kept alive.
Mom and dad shared a love rarely seen in this day and age. They were totally devoted to each other. Their lives were filled with good times and bad, but they always persevered and the laughter that they frequently shared was a blessing to watch. Mom and dad reserved Saturday nights for their date night. I remember sitting in the bathroom and Lawrence Welk would be on the TV and I would watch mom put her make-up on, getting all gussied up for dad. She looked like Jacqueline Kennedy to me, just so beautiful. They never stopped taking care of themselves or each other. Mom would leave lipstick messages on the bathroom mirror for dad and this was after being married for 50 years. They had a sense of humor and frequently played jokes on each other or teased each other. They kept it real. Their lives totally embodied the vows of for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. They lived it, immersed themselves in it and prevailed, all the while leading our family by example. Mom and dad's legacy has grown to include six children, Kit (Connie), Terry (Diana), Cathie (Mary), Susan (Dan) Hicks, John (Lori) and Deana (Michael) Vance. In addition, they have 17 grandchildren, 42 great-grandchildren and six great-great-grandchildren.
Mom's mind, sharp wit and sense of humor stayed with her until the very end. Her memory rivaled that of her children and grandchildren, and she was the best storyteller. She so wanted to go and be with dad and on June 17th of this year she soared. On the day that dad passed on, a double rainbow appeared in the sky, it was fairly visible and, I believed, as confirmation that he had completed his journey home. On August 1st of this year, one year and one day after dad passed (1+1), the most beautiful, bright, vibrant double rainbow that I have ever seen appeared again. One larger, one smaller but in tandem with each other, showing me that mom and dad are together in glorious harmony in the house of the Lord.
Mom and dad, you held our hands for a little while, but we will hold you in our hearts forever! We love you and miss you terribly. Until we meet again.
The rest of the family would like to express our profound gratitude for our sisters; Cathie, Mary and Susan, and Dan, Susan's husband, for devoting their lives to caring for mom and dad, when the rest of us couldn't or didn't. Cathie and Mary lived at mom and dad's home on Palo Verde on numerous occasions when one or the other needed care. Susan and Dan welcomed mom into their home after dad passed away so that she would not have to go to a care facility. They all took such great care of her, seeing to her every want and need. Cathie and Mary also moved in to help with mom. They all put their lives on hold to make mom and dad's lives the best that they could be. Towards the end, Susan and Cathie started taking shifts at night, changing at 3:00 a.m., and Mary and Dan joined in during the day and whenever else they were needed. They all said that it was an honor for them to care for mom and that they all had such great times with her, and they were with mom when she passed. We would also like to thank Kelly Splane, mom's part-time caregiver, she was not only an excellent caregiver, but a very good friend to mom and the rest of us as well. There are many other family members; grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that stepped up to help as well. So, thank you for the mobile hair cutting service, moving services, meals brought to feed them, and time spent playing cards and just being with them. It meant the world to them.
Services will be held at Saguaro Christian Church, 8302 E. Broadway Blvd., Tucson, AZ, 85710 on Saturday, October 2, 2021 at 10:00 a.m. Lunch will be provided at the church, following the service. AT THIS TIME THE CHURCH IS ENFORCING A MASK AT ALL TIMES POLICY! In lieu of flowers, the family is requesting that donations be made to Youth On Their Own: website yoto.org or the Humane Society: www.hssaz.org Arrangements by ABBEY FUNERAL CHAPEL.
