Q: I have three co-workers who burp all day long. They claim it's "a compliment to the chef," but I feel they're being rude. Their behavior has made things very uncomfortable at work. Please help me — I need some tips on how to deal with this in a professional way.
A: All day long? That doesn't sound like a compliment to the chef.
Rather, it sounds like the burpers are using this custom as an excuse to indulge in rude behavior.
Certainly burping happens, and it even has a certain place in our society. As a youngster, I routinely competed with my friends to see who could burp the loudest. But those burps most assuredly did not happen with adults around, or in school, or at the dinner table.
While some people have medical conditions that cause frequent burping, that doesn't seem to be the case here. If you haven't tried talking to the burpers, that should be your first step. Since there's strength in numbers, check to see if any other colleagues are also frustrated by their behavior and willing to join the discussion.
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Be nonconfrontational in your comments, but indicate clearly that the burping is disturbing to you and that you'd like them to curtail it: "Hey, guys, I've asked to speak with you about something that's difficult for me to bring up. I hope you'll understand that it's important enough to me that I want to talk with you about it. Your burping is really getting to me. Would you be willing to stop? It's really making work unpleasant for me."
You can even explain that, while burping may be acceptable in other cultures as a form of flattery to the chef, this is limited to a burp after the meal, not all-day belching, and that while this may be a custom elsewhere, it isn't here in the United States.
The way your question is posed suggests you've already tried asking them to stop. If so, the next step is to ask your manager to either talk directly to the burpers or bring the issue up at the next office meeting.
Q: A colleague of mine has a brother in a foreign country who recently passed away. What's the correct thing to do: Send flowers to the family out of the country, or just a card to my colleague, or both?
A: If your relationship is strictly with your colleague, a card to the colleague would be appropriate. If you've met the family and have established a personal relationship with them, then sending flowers to the family as well would be very nice.
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