My father had a unique approach to opening a bottle of champagne.
He'd hem and haw, grit his teeth, mutter to himself and break out in a light sweat.
After being treated to this demonstration every Thanksgiving and Christmas, it became clear that while it was amusing to watch, someone else should learn to perform this task.
So, here goes with our training of the alpha wine bottle.
1. Remember that this most social and celebratory of wines comes in a bottle under about as much pressure as a truck tire. The pressure is a result of the carbon dioxide created during the process of fermentation. Secondary fermentation, to be exact. This wine is just itching to burst from its restraints.
2. Don't open the bottle until it is well-chilled, between 45 degrees and 55 degrees. Remember that the glass is thicker on these bottles, and the contents take longer to chill. Set the chilled bottle firmly on the counter before you. Now, remove the foil wrapper at the top of the bottle.
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3. Making no sudden movements, pick up a napkin or dishtowel, fixing the bottle with a steady look.
4. Cover the top of the bottle with the napkin, and grasp it by the neck, tipping the bottle away from yourself and bracing the bottom of the bottle against your body.
Next, pull down the wire tab, untwist it and loosen the cage. (Or take the cage off, but keep the bottle tipped away from you.)
5. Still keeping a firm grasp on the cork, slowly twist the bottle, not the cork. Let the gas in the bottle begin its slow escape as it gradually pushes the cork out of the bottle.
6. Some champagne corks are simply going to be harder to open than others.
At times you might be tempted to discard the towel and just wrestle with the cork, showing anger in the process. It means the bottle has won and will eventually let loose its cork with an explosive "pop" and even perhaps gush out the liquid.
If the cork comes out with a breathy, gentle sound, you have prevailed.
