DEAR ABBY: I have recently enjoyed the success of having my first book published. However, this achievement has begun to change my life in ways I hadn't expected.
I'm a somewhat shy and reflective person by nature, preferring to live quietly rather than being in the spotlight. Having the freedom to spend time with my family and to enjoy the little things in life is more important to me than success. However, since my book's debut, I have felt myself pulled into a different sort of world.
I am meeting more "important" people than I can remember, and I'm struggling to keep up. How can I be who I am without feeling like a disappointment to those who believe in me? — NOT WHAT I EXPECTED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR NOT: For your own sake, it's important that you stop being so self-critical. There is more to being a successful author than writing. You are among the lucky few who have been published, and you now have a responsibility to yourself and to your publisher to promote your work and do public relations.
People are also reading…
This is a window of opportunity that won't last indefinitely, and it's important that you recognize that fact. In case no one has mentioned it, every business involves relationships. Meeting people of all kinds will prove valuable to you in the future — long after the hoopla of this book has died down.
Stop saying this isn't you, because it is you. And if your schedule is too stressful, cut it back a little.
DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering about the practicality of contacting my ex-wife about our unmarried, middle-aged daughter, "Della." Some of the decisions Della has made in the last year or so have not reflected what I consider to be basic common sense.
There is nothing illegal or unethical about what my daughter is doing, but her naiveté at times makes me want to talk to her mother. She doesn't see our daughter as often as I do. My ex and I have not talked for a long, long time. — IGNORE IT, OR NOT? SCOTTSDALE
DEAR IG: If you would like to talk to your ex-wife, by all means call her. But if she has less contact with your daughter than you do, she isn't going to be able to influence her either. People often learn more from their mistakes than they do their successes. Perhaps after your daughter makes a few more poor choices she will be receptive to listening to the voice of experience.
