I know most everybody thinks that the winter holidays are the most depressing time of year, but it’s not true. More suicides happen from the end of spring through the mid-summer than any other part of the year — and we don’t know why.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith
My thinking is that people always hold out hope for the holidays. They want the holidays to be good, so they make the effort to lift themselves out of their depression for those few weeks.
"Acting as if" can be a powerful healing tool and also be a great holiday gift for those who have been supporting you through your pain. Some people even can use this positive energy as a springboard for greater emotional balance, but most do not.
The depression usually returns before the tree even comes down. At that point, you must find the help you need, so you can enjoy the rest of your life — not just one more holiday.
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Summertime brings its own set of problems. For some, the heat and humidity are simply a bummer, but for others the problems go much deeper. For those who live alone or who are homebound, it can be depressing to hear about friends or family members having parties, taking vacations and just basically doing summertime.
The warmer and longer days also give us more time to think, and if you are depressed, that means you are ruminating about what you perceive is wrong with your life. If you do that for too long, you can lose the point of being alive. It can be easy to slip into thinking that taking your own life is a simple way out of your pain. It’s not. Most people in this situation forget to think about those who love them or realize just how much damage taking their own life will inflict.
I believe that suicide kills more than one person. And there are people who kill themselves to hurt those they love. When you lose someone to that terrible tragedy, it changes you forever. Some survivors learn to treasure life more but can never fully let go of the pain. Others cannot get past the grief or guilt.
If suicide has touched your life, you know what I’m saying. It isn’t something most feeling people can easily let go of — you simply struggle to find a way to live with the loss. Contrary to some psychological theories, you never move on completely. There will always be emotional scars.
Holding on to anger is also something which some survivors experience. “How could they do this to me?” will hide in the back of your heart long after your loss. That’s why it’s important for those left behind to get appropriate emotional support. I always recommend finding a grief group or a licensed counselor as soon as possible and, if you have children, to go as a family a few times.
Although I do support physician-assisted suicide, it’s for the terminally ill, not for the severely depressed. Taking your own life because you hurt inside isn’t a good enough reason, because help can almost always be found.
All I ask is that if you are considering leaving this planet by your own hand, please call 1-800-SUICIDE or the 988 line; it is the Prevention Hotline, and there are trained professionals available 24/7/365 to help you deal with the pain in your heart and soul. If for some reason you can’t talk to a stranger on the phone, then go to a therapist or even a hospital.
You can find someone who will help and care for you if you just reach out.
