Every year on Feb. 14, millions of people go through a multitude of feelings. Some are overjoyed and think Valentine’s Day should be a national holiday. Others hate the idea that they’re supposed to celebrate this day of love by buying overpriced flowers and going out to an expensive dinner. Yes, some people who are in relationships find it a burden or a drag. And there are yet millions of others who work hard to forget the day, so they don’t have to feel left out or lonely.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith
There is a group of singles out there who have come to call it “Quirky Alone Day” based on a book by Sasha Cagen titled “Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics,” and, by the way, she looks pretty happy on her website.
Groups of "quirky alones" host parties and celebrate in their own way throughout the world. It’s not about bashing Cupid. It’s about being OK with yourself on a day that can make you feel bad if you aren’t in a relationship. It’s about understanding that if you’re not in a romantic relationship, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to be alone on the holiday.
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I know several couples who celebrate the next day or on the following weekend so they don’t have to deal with the crowds or the prices. Other couples exchange something small and don’t make a big deal of it, or they ignore the holiday altogether. The choice is yours. Valentine’s Day is not mandatory, and if you’re in a relationship, it’s always a good idea to discuss your expectations for the day, so no one’s feelings get hurt.
If you are not in a relationship and are not looking forward to Feb. 14, I strongly recommend that you make plans to get together with friends or family. Spending the whole day isolated can be lonesome and hurtful, and you don’t need to be alone just because there’s no significant other to spend the day with.
Looking for alternatives may seem daunting. I remember one year I went to a museum, and there were hardly any people there and very few couples. I talked with total strangers about the art and had a nice time. I really didn’t mind being alone. I also sent out for pizza — would you believe that Valentine’s Day is the biggest pizza delivery night of the year? Many places will make a heart-shaped pizza, too.
Valentine’s Day can be tricky whether you are in a relationship or not. It’s important to be true to yourself and considerate of those you love. Understand that everyone has feelings about the day, and these feelings can change from year to year.
Deciding that you are going to enjoy yourself on this day — whether alone or not — is a positive sign that you have control of your life and emotions. All the holiday fuss makes me wonder what Saint Valentine might be thinking, but I’m sure he would wish a good time to everyone.
