It took “The Substance” less than three hours to catalog the horrors of tampering with the aging process.
“The Beauty,” however, dissects the subject in 11 episodes and doesn’t really come up with a better conclusion.
Co-created by Ryan Murphy (who discussed the issue in “Nip/Tuck” years ago), the limited series suggests there’s a sexually transmitted treatment (called “the beauty”) that can change a person’s look quickly — only there are some cruel side effects.
Ben Platt, left, as Manny and Evan Peters as Cooper Madsen in episode 4 of "The Beauty"
When deaths result, the FBI is called in to investigate. Officers Cooper Madison (Evan Peters) and Jordan Bennett (Rebecca Hall) — who look like Mulder and Scully from “The X Files” — connect the dots and realize they lead to a tech billionaire (played by Ashton Kutcher) who dabbles in the substance himself.
Isabella Rossellini as Franny Forst in "The Beauty"
Before long, we get those celebrity cameos Murphy is known for and the kind of scares that have kept “American Horror Story” afloat for years. There’s a European jaunt that muddies the case, brings in some high-action scenes and introduces The Assassin (Anthony Ramos), who drags the story in another direction. To keep it from becoming “The Next Top Exploding Model,” Murphy — who also directed episodes — focuses on a loner (played by Jeremy Pope) who goes from overweight to over-hot in what seems like minutes. He’s under the thumb of a grotesque plastic surgeon (Jon Jon Briones) who introduces even more subthemes.
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By the time “The Beauty” has gossiped about every body type, it’s time to get down to telling a story. The FBI agents disappear more than they should and deal with their own crisis of identity.
While it’s fun to see a parade of supermodels, Broadway actors and “Horror Story” regulars, it’s less an indictment of body issues and more a case of throwing everything into the mix.
Kutcher doesn’t get as much screen time as he should, and Pope becomes aligned with Ramos in ways we’re not quite sure.
Ashton Kutcher as The Corporation in "The Beauty"
“The Beauty” wallows in nudity and uses so much goo it’s hard to figure what the “up” side is when there appear to be so many downers.
What might be a better story is how Murphy gets buy-in from so many blue-chip actors. Most aren’t given juicy scenes and, when they do, they explode or disappear.
How far are people willing to go to become beautiful? This answers the question, but it also shows what happens when smart people don’t know how to say no.
“The Beauty” airs on FX and streams on Hulu.
