They're baaaaack.
A few days ago I heard Barack Obama on the TV. But this time he wasn't speaking to some talking head on the national news. He was speaking to me. Well, sorta.
"Barack Obama was just on a TV commercial," I told my husband.
"Hillary was on earlier," he answered.
Oh, lordy. Here comes the presidential election, galloping into Arizona for the Feb. 5 roundup, if only electronically. Too many other little dogies to rope elsewhere, after all.
But sure as shootin', they'll be back. There will be no peace to be had in this fair valley till the Christmas trees go on sale again.
Meantime, I don't even have the privilege next week of voting for the candidate who annoys me the least.
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A few weeks ago, we switched our political affiliation to independent — before realizing we wouldn't be able to vote in Arizona's presidential preference election.
Sure, we could have switched back again, jumped down, turned around and given the man a dollar, so to speak.
But at that point, vertigo was setting in and we needed to just lie down and rest awhile.
"Besides," said my husband, who always looks on the bright side, "nobody will be calling us for our vote."
"But," said I, always looking on the dark side, "just wait until the general election. They'll all be after us then."
Sigh. Maybe we should have joined the Whigs, though I hear they've been somewhat inactive of late.
Same for Teddy Roosevelt's Bull Moose Party. Pity. Just think of the wonderful hats you could wear at convention time — not to mention the clashes out on the street.
"Ow, Alvin, you got your elephant trunk caught up in my antlers."
"Hey, he started it — that guy running down the street with the donkey ears on his head."
Hee-haw, hee-haw.
Face it, as the race gets closer to the finish line, none of us will be immune, even in a state with 10 puny electoral votes.
Ring-a-ding-ding.
"Hello, I'm calling for my incredibly well-groomed, tucked-and-manicured candidate, who worked his way up from the trailer park so he can promise you sugar-free apple pie, lower taxes, and motherhood under a big tent in order to make America a safer place for children, the elderly and everyone who wants change. Can we count on your vote?"
"Mffumpf, you caught me at dinnertime. What kind of change?"
"Why, the change that everyone wants."
"Can you be more specific? On health care? The Middle East? Education? Social Security?"
"Sir, it's all on our Website, www.showusthemoolah.com. Just sign up and we'll be happy to inundate you with more phone calls, e-mails and the candidate's second cousin dropping by." Click.
Click, indeed.
Interruptions at dinnertime won't compare, of course, with what's soon to start arriving with greater and greater frequency to a television set near you.
Just be glad we don't live in Iowa, where residents were reportedly bombarded with more than 50,000 campaign commercials during the candidates' romp through that state.
But even here, they're gonna shine, shine, shine their little lights on us long after we've wearied of them all.
And there's not a thing we can do to change that.
