For years scientists have theorized that one day Nicolas Cage would overact so badly that his head would burst into flames. Now, with "Ghost Rider," the phenomenon has finally come to pass.
Cage plays motorcycle-riding superhero Johnny Blaze. By the way, when you fill out your name as "Johnny Blaze" on one of those high school career aptitude quizzes, the guidance counselor stops you right there and tells you your only career option is "superhero."
Johnny, who has sold his soul to Mephistopheles — the film is so bad, even Satan didn't want his real name in the thing — struggles with his superness. Sure, it's cool how he's invulnerable to bullets and strong enough to throw enemies across the screen, but there's quite a downside: When in the presence of evil, Johnny's skin melts off his face and his skull is engulfed with the unquenchable flame of damnation.
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Compared to the audience, Johnny gets off easy.
Writer/director Mark Steven Johnson pieces his story together like he's playing superhero Mad Libs. All the standard elements are there, and Johnson just fills in the gaps with silliness that stretches suspension of disbelief even for the most accepting comic book lovers.
As usual in this type of movie, the hero's mentor dies at the beginning, he's got a tenuous love interest (Eva Mendes), who'd rather Johnny give up the whole vigilante thing and get a job at Kinko's, and a vile enemy with a weird name. The bad guy, who wants to engulf all human souls and bring hell to Earth, is called Blackheart (Wes Bentley). By the way, when Blackheart filled out one of those high school job aptitude quizzes, it told him he'd be best suited as either a gloomy Care Bear or "American Idol" judge. Go figure.
Johnny is ordered by Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) to retrieve a hidden contract that gives the holder ownership of a thousand souls before Blackheart can get his hands on it. The plot really doesn't make sense or matter all that much. The film is about Johnny's transforming back and forth between his human and Ghost Rider form. When Johnny is engulfed in flames, his motorcycle changes into a giant bike made of chains, with fire in the wheels, and it leaves a trail of flames in its wake. Sure, he's good at bringing criminals to justice, but you wouldn't want the guy riding to your rescue if you happen to live near any oil fields or forests.
Cage seems to know he's in a bad movie, so he just tosses aside all reservations and lets loose his inner overgesturing, shouting maniac. He has to steel himself to utter such lines as: "He may have my soul but he doesn't have my spirit!"
Everyone else just stands aside and hopes not to be engulfed in the fire.
Nothing in the film works — not even the unintended humor. Johnson should have taken his cue from the devil and taken his name off the project, working only as a Ghost Writer.
Review
Ghost Rider (*1/2) — Rated PG-13 for horror violence and disturbing images. Nicolas Cage stars. Mark Steven Johnson directs. 110 minutes. Playing at Park Place, El Con, Century Park, Foothills, DeAnza, Desert Sky and Cinemark.
