Newlywed Gary Ross is expecting some raised eyebrows when he returns to work in a few days at Southern Arizona's largest military installation.
At midnight Eastern Time today - the instant he could do so without ruining his career - the Navy officer married his longtime love, Dan Swezy, in front of a fieldstone fireplace at a rustic lodge in Vermont.
Their union was timed to coincide precisely with the end of "don't ask, don't tell,", the federal law that forced them to keep their 11-year relationship a secret so Ross wouldn't lose his job.
The law's repeal took effect at midnight. Ross and Swezy wanted to be the first same-sex military couple married in its wake.
"We're very excited and a little nervous, like any other couple," Ross, a lieutenant, said in a phone interview a few hours before the historic nuptials.
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"We wanted to do it at midnight because that was our first opportunity to have the same relationship that anyone else can have."
The pair, who live west of Tucson, began making wedding plans in July, the day President Obama announced the Sept. 20 repeal date.
They chose the Moose Meadow Lodge in Waterbury, Vt., a gay-friendly bed-and-breakfast where one co-owner is a justice of the peace and the other heads the Vermont Gay Tourism Association.
"We're absolutely delighted to be part of this," said lodge co-owner Greg Trulson, the JP who officiated at the ceremony.
"For years Gary had to hide who he is and who he loves. Now he'll be able to tell the truth."
Same-sex unions are legal in Vermont, though the marriage won't be recognized by the military under federal law.
Ross, 33, wore his Navy dress uniform with medals and a white bow tie for the wedding. Swezy, 49, wore a black tuxedo with white bow tie.
The couple met in 2000, when Ross was a student at the U.S. Naval Academy in Maryland and Swezy was a flight attendant for US Airways.
From the start, they had to look over their shoulders.
"We'd spend the weekend together, and when I'd drop him off at the Academy, we'd shake hands and be like 'See you later,' " Swezy recalled of their awkward partings.
When choosing places to live, they purposely avoided neighborhoods favored by military personnel.
Ross has deployed twice as a Navy surface warfare officer, most recently to the Arabian Gulf in 2007 to support operations in Iraq.
He now serves at Fort Huachuca, about 75 miles southeast of Tucson, in the Joint Interoperability Test Command, an outfit that tests military equipment to ensure it is useable by all branches of the service.
Ross said he feels bad about having misled his co-workers all these years, and is a bit nervous about returning to work in the aftermath of the repeal.
"There are lots of people I've become friends with in the military who never got a chance to know who I really am," he said.
"Hopefully, most people will understand that I had no choice but to lie," Ross said. "Hopefully, they can be happy for us."
Contact reporter Carol Ann Alaimo at calaimo@azstarnet.com or at 573-4138.

