Rock-Solid Marriage

Star-crossed lovers

How would Romeo and Juliet have fared under these factors? It might have been a tragedy even without the knife and the poison.

● It starts with picking the right partner, and it helps if you marry someone who's likable. Flexibility is another big one. People who are temperamentally happy and tolerant and friendly tend to be better prospects. Rigidity, the inability to admit being wrong and resistance to change are all destructive traits.

● Immaturity is the first warning sign, but you can't expect much from a 14-year-old. Romeo demonstrates a rather fickle nature, since at the opening of the play he is in love with Rosaline. And the two had a rash Britney-moment of falling in love and marrying after one short balcony scene.

● Forget all that business about opposites attracting. It's not that a Republican can't marry a Democrat. But compatibility, Hine explains, particularly in family and lifestyle issues, is key. One of his clients, he said, came to him for counseling because their second year into marriage, it became clear that the man didn't want children and the woman did. There isn't much you can do with that level of incompatibility.

● Very compatible. By today's standards, they'd be New York socialites spending summers in the Hamptons.

● It's all about the bonding. Loving couples describe each other as good friends. But they also have some element of sexual attachment and feelings of intimacy.

● Alas, death intervened before any real bonding could occur.

● These come in handy in managing conflict and anger. It comes down to how good they are at negotiating, listening and communicating. "Every problem has a solution if people are willing to compromise," he said.

● They seem to have little difficulty communicating in beautiful, flowery language. It appears as though Romeo's conflict-management skills are rather primitive, however, since he's banished from the kingdom for the retaliatory killing of Tybalt, a bloodthirsty Capulet who killed Romeo's friend.

● The key is how to handle crisis. It might entail building a support system of family and friends or building religious faith. It's also about staving off adversity in the first place, by practicing sound money management and developing effective parenting skills.

● To be fair, they did have a support system, turning to Juliet's nurse and a Franciscan friar for help in cementing their union, and they sought help in addressing Juliet's impending marriage and Romeo's banishment. But mutual suicides at the end of the play show they needed some stronger coping skills.

● The least important of the six, this one will handle itself if the other five characteristics are in evidence. It entails trying to attain physical and mental health, satisfactory living conditions, career experiences and positive relationships with parents and in-laws.

● These are not promising. Between a longstanding family feud, murder, banishment and previous betrothals, this was a couple with a lot to deal with.