Q: I am expecting a child and will soon be going on maternity leave. I'd like to invite some of my work colleagues to the baby shower, but I'm not sure about the etiquette. Should I include only those co-workers who are friends of mine outside work, or invite everyone in my department, so that no one feels left out? Also, is it proper etiquette to invite my boss?
— D.P., Victoria, British Columbia, Canada
A: First, check discreetly with a friend at work to see whether your colleagues are planning a workplace shower for you. If so, then you don't have to deal with inviting anyone from work to your "other" shower, since you wouldn't want to invite someone to two showers.
If no office shower is planned, then the etiquette is based on doing what's considerate and respectful, rather than following a set "rule." For instance, the "rule" says that since baby showers are intimate affairs, you should invite only those co-workers who are also friends.
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But what if you work in a department of six people, and all but one are close friends? In this case, the considerate thing would be to invite that sixth person as well. Otherwise, even if you issued invitations outside the office, the person would undoubtedly learn of the situation and feel ostracized.
If you work in a large office, the proper etiquette is to invite those people who really are friends as well as colleagues. You don't have to include everyone from your department but, as in the above example, be considerate of your immediate co-workers. If you work closely with three people and were thinking of inviting two of them, you might want to reconsider and invite all three.
Whomever you choose to include, invitations should always be sent to their home addresses, rather than given out at the workplace. As far as your boss or other superiors are concerned, if they're friends as well as work colleagues, then by all means include them. If your relationship is strictly professional, no invitation is required.
Q: When your office is in a highly visible area, is it necessary to greet people every time they pass by, or is it enough to greet them just once at the beginning of the day?
— M.D., Gatineau, Quebec, Canada
A: It's a mark of respect and friendliness to greet your co-workers the first time you see them that day. Beyond that, there's no need to say "Hi" every time they walk by your work area. Should you happen to catch a colleague's eye, a smile would be nice. But if you're concentrating on your work, it's not necessary to interrupt what you're doing in order to look up and offer a greeting.