Steve Solomon tried, but education just wasn't for him.
He was a physics teacher and administrator for years when he finally decided he had had enough.
"My brain turned to jello dealing with the bureaucracy," he said in a phone interview earlier this month.
"There were hundreds of people with no humor. I woke up one morning and thought, 'I can't do this any more.'"
What he could do was comedy. He had long written it. Now, he decided, he was going to perform it.
And did he ever. Solomon's one-man comedy show, "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish & I'm in Therapy" has brought him around the country - including to Invisible Theatre early this year.
The riotous monologue encompasses a wide range of characters, all inspired by Solomon's family and neighborhood folks from his growing-up years in Brooklyn.
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Now he's "Home for the Holidays" with the same cast of principal characters - his mom, dad, his three-pack a day sister - and a slew of others. He'll introduce them all to us - in their voices - when Solomon brings the show to the Berger Performing Arts Center early next week.
"The premise of the show is I'm headed to Florida to be with family for the holidays and I get stuck in Atlanta," says Solomon in a phone interview from Washington, where he was performing to full houses.
"I walk out on stage and I'm talking to my father who is deaf. 'Where are you?' my father says." At this, Solomon exaggerates his Brooklyn accent and his voice takes on a more aged quality. Just as quickly, he moves back into his own character. At this point in the conversation, his mother has gotten on the line. The conversation begins again. And again.
"'Pop, I'm stuck here, I'm stuck in Atlanta.' 'What did he say?' Mom says on the other line." The conversation between his parents is a series of questions asking each other what their son said. Meanwhile, Solomon keeps repeating he's stuck in Atlanta.
Finally, one more time, Pop asks "What did he say?" Mom replies, says Solomon: "'He says he's stuck in the intestines and he wants Mylanta.'"
And so the holidays begin with Solomon, family and friends. He affects voices for each, and swears most all of them are fact-based, though embellished a bit. Artistic license, don'tchaknow. Then, he adds, "My family took me to court to have my artistic license revoked."
Solomon basks in the laughter his shows bring. And he still can't believe he's lucky enough to do the 500 or so shows a year that he performs, especially given how fresh his first stand-up routine more than 20 years ago seems.
"I got $25; it was comedy club in Long Island," Solomon recalls.
"Someone yells out, 'you fat bastard.' At that point, I couldn't remember my phone number. It took about 5 years before I had a good set for stand-up, and then I realized I didn't want to do stand-up."
It isn't the fame Solomon sought. What he wanted was a product that people were willing to pay money for.
"I care about creating a business and making the best product for people," he says.
"People don't know my name, but I care if they know my products."
Those products have kept him on the road and in theaters since 1990.
"I had no idea," he said, "how much fun this would be."
If you go
• What: "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish, and I'm Home for the Holidays"
• Director: Andy Rogow.
• Written and performed by: Steve Solomon.
• Presented by: Invisible Theatre.
• When: 7:30 p.m. Monday and Tuesday.
• Where: The Berger Performing Arts Center, 1200 W. Speedway.
• Tickets: $42.
• Reservations/information: 882-9721or www.invisibletheatre.com
• Running time: 2 hours, with one intermission.
