Because nothing says "party" for a former Spanish presidio like a luau, and because people get paid to try to lure you downtown on weekends, and because Ernie Menehune and his Polynesian dancers were available, the Big Kahuna is upon us.
While scanning the massive schedule for Saturday's mostly free party, you will notice that the tropical bash will stretch from Main Gate Square to North Fourth Avenue and through downtown.
It's all part of the monthlong celebration of Tucson's 235th birthday, cooked up by the same folks who thought it was a good idea to celebrate Tucson's birthday for the whole month of August. Every year.
But even if you'd rather pass on yet another slice of cake, read on. The Big Kahuna will feature a giant sandbox at Main Gate Square, which has clear potential, especially if it rains, and a 22-foot water slide outside Hotel Congress, which can only be a good thing.
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And how about a practically free ($2.35) performance at the Scottish Rite Cathedral by Menehune, Tucson's 87-year-old ambassador of hip-swaying lagoon goodness?
Tiny bubbles for the soul, my friends.
A Gilligan look-alike contest at the RiverPark Inn?
OK, that one sounds like a three-hour snooze. But, well, how would you coax people to a motel on the frontage road for family-friendly fun and games?
Here's the show that jumped out at me whilst I scanned the schedule of sidewalk sales and cake offerings, and $2.35 deals and specials:
It's a free performance on the outdoor Winsett Stage on Fourth Avenue by Orbital Evolution, Tucson's foremost Hula-Hoop troupe. The group was founded a few months ago by a local acupuncturist and an astronomy grad student. The eight women of the troupe will "hoop it up" to "island-y music" - their words - from 8:30 to 9 p.m., doing their level best to put the hula back in hoop.
That's brilliant all the way around, but dig this: Their hoops are equipped with light-emitting diodes.
Orbital Evolution, which made its debut at a solstice party at Sky Bar, was founded by Michelle Larson (the acupuncturist) and Stephanie Cortes (the astronomy student), both of whom seemed perfectly rational on the phone.
"Individually, we were hooping and enjoying the art form, and we wanted to get together and share our creativity and do some choreography," says Larson, 29, who moved here 11 years ago from Seattle.
Cortes, 28, says the ensemble will show off its tricks with three solos and four group routines on Saturday.
The women will shake it to "some island-y music and some upbeat, poppy, surfer stuff," she says. "We are trying to integrate some actual hula dancing into our hoop thing."
The superhoopers, whose hips don't lie, include a nurse, a nursing student and another sky-minded grad student. They already have been booked at several upcoming events, including next month's Glow festival, north of Tucson.
The founding duo hinted at brighter and hotter things ahead. Considering that Larson is also the director of Elemental Artistry, a fire performance outfit, it doesn't take an astronomy grad student to figure out that flames are in their future.
Here's a look at highlights from the Big Kahuna schedule, the entirety of which is online at downtowntucson. org
All events are on Saturday between 5 and 9 p.m., unless otherwise noted.
Downtown
7:30 p.m.: "Road to Rio," starring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, at the Fox Tucson Theatre, 17 W. Congress St. Admission: $2.35.
7 p.m.: Ernie Menehune's Hawaiian show with Polynesian dancers at the Scottish Rite Cathedral, 160 S. Scott Ave. ($2.35 donation)
North Fourth Avenue
Tiki Party at The Hut, 305 N. Fourth Ave.: Celebrate the one-year anniversary of the giant tiki head's arrival with a luau that includes a pig roast.
Al Foul at Chocolate Iguana, 500 N. Fourth Ave.
Live music at Magpies Gourmet Pizza, 605 N. Fourth Ave.
Z Street Band at Spencer Park, northwest corner of the Fourth Avenue underpass.
Live entertainment at Winsett Stage, 316 N. Fourth Ave., featuring Jazzholes, Planet Jam and Orbital Evolution (Tucson's Hula-Hoop troupe).
Dunk tank starts at 5 p.m.
Main Gate Square
Look for all the festivities on East University Boulevard between North Park and North Euclid avenues.
5 p.m.: Big Kahuna 235th Birthday Cake, in front of Fuku Sushi.
6-8 p.m.: Retro Rockets perform near La Salsa.
7-9 p.m.: Live music by de Vie near Baskin-Robbins.
7 p.m.: Beach and resort fashion show by local designer Valenzmoda at Geromino Plaza.
5 p.m.: Surfer Laird Hamilton look-alike contest starts with registration at Malibu Yogurt.
5-9 p.m.: Also look for the public-participation mural, chalk art, lots of sidewalk sales, a giant sandbox and live music at Caffe Luce and Frog & Firkin.
If you go
• What: The Big Kahuna, a tropical bash for Tucson's 235th birthday.
• Featuring: Entertainment on several stages, including Ernie Menehune at the Scottish Rite Cathedral and cake. Lots of cake.
• When: 5-9 p.m. Saturday.
• Where: Downtown, North Fourth Avenue and Main Gate Square.
• Admission: Free for most events.
More info: www.downtowntucson.com
More online
Check out www.tucsonsbirthday.org for more events.
