As you read this, there's a good chance punky girls from the Western half of the United States will be exiting Tucson International Airport bound for the Dust Devil 2007 WFTDA Western Regional Tournament.
All day Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Bladeworld, some 170 ladies on roller skates are going to be bashing one another into walls, tackling each other for strategy, and competing for your entertainment.
"We rock," said Karyn "Hoot'n Annie" Hunt of the Tucson Saddletramps.
The Saddletramps are basically the all-star travel team that consists of the best players from the three teams in the Tucson Roller Derby. The team will be competing against the best players from other leagues at the Dust Devil. The initials WFTDA stand for Women's Flat Track Derby Association.
Bladeworld can hold about 1,500 and is expected to be filled with locals, die-hard fans who made the journey, announcers and roller derby girls from other leagues.
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A Tucson Roller Derby bout is kind of like punk rock on wheels with live play-by-play calling. Patrons cheer, sip beer, enjoy live music during breaks in action (bands playing the Dust Devil include local acts Winelord, the Provocative Whites and the Deludes) and wear T-shirts supporting their favorite team.
Tucson hosted the national Dust Devil tournament last year, but this year the tournament had to be split into regionals to accommodate budding new leagues as roller derby has exploded across the country.
The top four teams from Tucson's Western tournament and four from an East Coast tournament in Philadelphia next month will head to the finals in Austin, Texas, in October to decide a women's flat-track roller derby national champion.
"The best teams are in the West," said the Saddletramps' Emily "Fisti Cuffs" Langmade, 23.
What makes things more exciting for Tucsonans is this city is blessed with one of the best roller derby leagues in the country.
The talent contained in the Saddletramps, the Tucson Roller Derby team that will be participating in the Dust Devil, has already made history.
In an exhibition match in December, the Saddletramps became the first team to defeat the Texecutioners of Austin's Texas Rollergirls, the league that has been referred to as the godmothers of roller derby since it gave the sport its modern revival about seven years ago.
"Sometimes it's all about who wants it more," said the Saddletramps' Ashleigh "Randi Canyon" Bennett, 20.
The Texas Rollergirls aren't going to let Tucson take the title without a fight.
At the Dust Devil, Texas is going to be looking for some serious payback following its loss in December.
"We're taking this tournament more serious than any other," said Texas' Juliana "Bloody Mary" Gonzales.
"We plan to take that trophy home."
Put up or shut up
Below is a list of the squads competing this year at the Dust Devil by seed.
Several of the teams' rankings have improved this year. This could be due to the Dust Devil only involving 12 leagues from the Western half of the United States this year, as opposed to 20 from all over the country last year.
Or it could be hard work.
1. Texas Rollergirls
The reigning champions and league that started the modern derby revival in Austin. The squad is heavily favored to repeat.
2. Tucson Roller Derby
Tucson finished second to Texas at the Dust Devil last year, 129-96. The local team is a possible contender for the crown this year, but it'll have to play at its highest level to win it all. It will also need all the local fan support it can get.
3. Rat City Rollergirls
Seeded fifth last year in the Dust Devil, the Seattle league is said to have greatly improved in 2006.
4. Arizona Roller Derby
Arizona's first roller derby league, based out of Phoenix, finished third in the tournament last year. Judging from the way Tucson has stomped Arizona lately in head-to-head battles, it'll have its work cut out.
5. Kansas City Roller Warriors
Holding its first bout in 2005, Kansas City finished sixth overall last year. Texas' Juliana "Bloody Mary" Gonzales calls this up-and-coming team one to watch in the tournament.
6. Bay Area Derby Girls
Formed in 2004, the San Francisco squad has moved up in the rankings from a ninth seed last year. Also look out for former Tucson Roller Derby skater Mandi Festo, who transferred to this league in 2006.
7. Sin City Rollergirls
The Las Vegas-based league had a trying year after one of its members, Bri "Pirate" Young, was beaten by three men in June 2006. The attack left Young with broken bones and bruises — and thousands of dollars in medical bills. Luckily, Sin City was able to raise some $10,000 to help the insurance-less Young, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal.
8. Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
The Denver roller girls have vastly improved in seeding from their last-place finish in 2006.
9. Duke City Derby
Tucson Roller Derby's Whiskey Mick calls the Albuquerque team the "next Tucson," largely due to the group's fighting spirit and large heart.
10. Rose City Rollers
Portland's roller squad finished 16th overall last year.
11. Dallas Derby Devils
Another Texas team. It finished 14th last year.
12. Pikes Peak Derby Dames
Playing in its first Dust Devil tournament, the Colorado Springs-based collective will be looking to introduce itself.
There's a method to the seeming madness
As a fan, there are a few things you should know.
One is getting to Bladeworld early to secure a seat close to the action. Watching derby from afar can be like watching golf from any angle.
At first a roller derby bout may look like controlled chaos, but there's a method to the madness.
You'll understand things a lot easier by experiencing, but here's a quick list of terms for consultation.
ACTION
Bout: Another word for a game, which consists of three 20-minute periods.
Jam: Basically when the action happens in roller derby. Think of it like a "play" in football. The maximum time a jam can last is two minutes.
When the roller girls line up to skate in a jam, each team will have five players in three different positions.
POSITIONS
Jammers: Each team will set up one quick skater behind the pack to compete in a jam.
The jammers score points. The jammer will be wearing a cap on her helmet, likely with a star on it.
A jammer has to first lap all the other players around the track once to score points. Once she does that, she'll get a point for every player on the opposite team she passes.
The first jammer to get past the pack first cleanly is known as the "lead jammer" and she can stop the jam whenever she wants.
Blockers: The role is mostly defensive, trying to stop the other team's jammer with body hits. Offensively, the blocker helps to protect and assist her team's jammer. There will be three blockers for each team in a jam.
Pivot: Each team will get one pivot for a jam; the pivot is sort of like the lead blocker. The pivot skates at the front of the pack and helps control the pacing. If a jammer from the opposing team is about to lap the pack, the pivot is the last line of defense to stop her. She typically wears a helmet cap with a stripe on it.
PENALTIES
Just like in hockey, players can get sent to the penalty box.
Here's a few things that'll send girls to timeout:
• Use of hands. Derby is a hands-free sport.
• No tripping, kicking, pushing, shoving, hitting from behind.
• A girl will also sit in the penalty box for fighting.
Meet your Tucson Saddletramps . . .
Sloppy Flo on the Range, #8.
• Aka: Sloppy Flo, plays with the Furious Truckstop Waitresses.
• Government name: Danielle Poulin, 32, pediatric occupational therapist.
• Position: Jammer.
• Two-word description: Quick, crafty.
Fisti Cuffs, #241.
• Plays for the Furious Truckstop Waitresses,.
• Government name: Emily Langmade, 23, key operator.
• Position: Jammer.
• Two-word description: Very fast.
Eli Wallop, #24/7.
• Aka: All Night Dinah, with Furious Truckstop Waitresses.
• Government name: Kate Barnidge, 24, student.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Hard hitter.
Tombstone Teri, #RIP
• Aka: Dirty Teri, with the Vice Squad.
• Government name: Teri McGill, 20.
• Position: Pivot.
• Two-word description: Versatile leader.
Jezze Jamez, #666.
• Aka: Jezebelle, with the Furious Truckstop Waitresses.
• Government name: Not available.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Tough, trouble.
West Nile Iris, #627.
• Aka: Dot Stoevsky, with the Iron Curtain.
• Government name: Angela Bejarano, 27, marketer.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Silent, deadly.
Deadlock Doe Holliday, #333.
• Aka: Deadlock Doe, with the Furious Truckstop Waitresses.
• Government name: Dorene Dickinson, 42, pipe fitter.
• Position: Pivot.
• Two-word description: Total badass.
The Bad, #18.
• Aka: Doris Badenov, with the Iron Curtain.
• Government name: Sue Knittel, 45, engineer.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Determined strategist.
Hoot'n Annie, #16.
• Aka: Aja Consent, with the Vice Squad.
• Government name: Karyn Hunt, 23, graduate student.
• Position: Jammer.
• Two-word description: Gutsy hustler.
Randi Canyon, #986.
• Aka: Bolshe Vixen, with the Iron Curtain.
• Government name: Ashleigh Bennett, 20, veterinary technician.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Unwavering, passionate.
Sweet Tooth, #7.
• Aka: Polly Graf, with the Vice Squad.
• Government name: Amy Shapiro, 26, art professor and tattoo apprentice.
• Position: Pivot.
• Two-word description: Hungry, teammate.
Hard Anya, #I4I
• Aka: Hard Anya, with the Vice Squad.
• Government name: Anya Petersen, 27, Web developer.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Feisty checker.
Tumbleweed, #711.
• Aka: Kassi Nova, with the Iron Curtain.
• Government name: Summer Schneider, 23.
• Position: Jammer.
• Two-word description: Rising star.
Liberty Valencezula, #.
• Aka: Peaches Rodriguez, Furious Truckstop Waitresses.
• Government name: Ariana Ybarra, 26, valet.
• Position: Blocker.
• Two-word description: Big heart.
Event's Top 5 story lines
1) Tucson vs. Texas.
The stakes have never been higher.
Barring a massive upset, expect these two titans to be swinging in the finals for the trophy. Last year's finals with these two teams resulted in entertainment as intensive as Bladeworld has ever seen. Texas ended up beating Tucson, 129-96.
In an overtime exhibition match in December in Austin, the Tucson Saddletramps beat Texas' Texecutioners, 62-60.
If the two teams end up the last two standing at this year's Dust Devil, expect an intensity level to rival that of any other sport in town.
Worth the price of admission alone if both teams make it to the finals.
2) Tucson Roller Derby losing stars to New York at tournament conclusion.
The Dust Devil is going to mark the end of the Tucson Roller Derby careers for beloved players Fisti Cuffs and Hard Anya.
A star for the Furious Truckstop Waitresses and one of Tucson Roller Derby's original players, Cuffs is one of the best jammers in the country.
Anya helped her team, the Vice Squad, to a championship in 2005 and is a fiercely talented blocker.
The pair plan on moving and joining New York City's Gotham Girls.
Emily "Fisti Cuffs" Langmade said she was sad to be leaving Tucson, but really excited to be moving to the Big Apple.
"It'll be nice to help a league grow," she said.
Anya "Hard Anya" Petersen was just content to roll for a last time with the Saddletramps.
"I'm glad I get to be playing on one of the best teams in the country for one more tournament," Petersen said.
3) Rat City making waves.
Seattle's Rat City made some waves when the team took the dominating Texas Rollergirls to the wire last year. Although Rat City ultimately lost, 74-69, the team made a statement: It could play with the Big Girls.
4) Full games.
Last year's Dust Devil featured abbreviated, round-robin bouts, since it involved more teams. This year, every game will go the full 60 minutes of a typical roller bout.
What looks like a small factor at first plays a bigger part in fatigue and a team's improved chances at making a big, late comeback.
5) No hometown refs.
This year, referees will not be allowed to call their home league's games in the tournament.
So get off their backs!
By the book: 'Rollergirl' author talks to us
Melissa "Melicious" Joulwan began writing "Rollergirl: Totally True Tales From the Track" in 2004 when she was skating with the first-ever roller derby league, the Texas Rollergirls, in Austin.
Since then, roller derby has exploded, with leagues popping up as far away as New Zealand and Australia.
The just-released book is part memoir and part roller-girl how-to.
It concludes with last year's first-ever national roller derby championship here in Tucson.
Joulwan will be at the Dust Devil, signing copies of the book, which you can buy for $15.
We caught up with her in January to talk derby.
How big has the rivalry gotten in your eyes, as far as Texas and Tucson?
"It's really funny because on one hand, we're really tight with them. We love them; they're great girls. We're always really excited to see them. . . . And then of course as soon as we get on the track, all bets are off and it's very competitive."
Do you think Tucson has a shot at winning the Dust Devil?
"Oh, sure. I think in any athletic competition where the players are evenly matched, of course they have a shot."
Any chance you'll come out of retirement?
"I had shoulder surgery in December, so no skating for me until April. My doctor is being very strict. I'm not even allowed to put my skates on. . . . I'm not retired, no way. I've got at least two more years in me. I'm 38, I still want to be doing roller derby when I'm 40."
What about people who say roller derby is just a trend?
"I think the last year is proving that wrong. I think that in 2003 and 2004 when we were just getting started, it could have gone either way. Because there's like 135 leagues now, there's so many girls who are doing it. . . . I think it just has so much momentum, it would be shocking to me if it just went away."
What do you think the future holds for roller derby?
"There's kind of two branches I'd like to see happen with our sport. One is, I'd like to see us get to the level of skateboarding or snowboarding where we're still edgy but have that kind of broad acceptance. . . . The other side that I think would be really great is, I think it'd be really fun if we could figure out a touch-version of roller derby, like flag football, so we could get kids playing it. Because I'm not so sure I'd want to go up to the parents of an 8- or 10- or 12-year-old and be like, 'Ahhh, just put them in pads and let them knock each other to the ground.' "
Dust Devil 2007 WFTDA Western Regional Tournament
When: Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Games are 1 to 10 p.m. each day.
Where: Bladeworld, 1065 W. Grant Road.
Cost: $20 per day, $45 for all three days.
For more information, visit tucsonrollerder by.com/dustdevil2007.
After-party!
On Sunday night, you can come to Club Congress for the Dust Devil after-party.
What: Roller Derby Rally with Al Foul and Golden Boots.
Where: Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St.
When: 9 p.m. Sunday.
Cost: $3.
For more information, visit online at hotelcongress.com.
