My father thought it fitting that a restaurant less than 4 months old be reviewed by a 4-month-old.
So it was that I ventured out to the Marana Chili's, which was my first trip to a restaurant. I was nervous about the experience, but, I must admit, things turned out swimmingly, and I plan on returning to Chili's many times, especially once I've advanced past the restrictions of a liquid diet.
As I am an infant, I feel especially drawn to bright colors, and I was pleased to see the walls adorned with nifty pictures and designs. The view from my car seat reminded me of the mobile in my bassinet, a trifle that I stare at in my daily meditations.
I tend to be angered by loud noise, but the gentleman who escorted us to our table was careful to sequester us in a calm corner of the restaurant, which pleased me to no end.
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Bear in mind that these opinions are secondhand. Because I had just filled my stomach with that fine cuisine known as breast milk, and alas, because I have no teeth, I did not partake in the restaurant food.
My parents started with the Triple Dipper, which let them choose three appetizers to make up a plate. The boneless buffalo wings, hot spinach and artichoke dip with tortilla chips and fried cheese were all cooked to perfection.
Father enjoyed his Fajita Trio, which included steak strips cooked with peppers and onions as well as mushrooms and shrimp, accompanied by tortillas and, for an extra dollar, a helping of guacamole. In all my weeks, rarely have I heard the old man exclaim in such delight over a meal. It was heartening to see him so satisfied.
Mother was happy but less than overjoyed with her Chicken Club Tacos, which included mesquite chicken, chopped applewood-smoked bacon topped with chipotle-ranch dressing, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese. She enjoyed the mix of flavors, but found the chicken slightly dry, unlike my diaper.
It's my highest compliment to announce that although I was prepared at any moment to announce my displeasure with a full-throated cry, nothing triggered such commentary. I took in the evening with smiles and chuckles. This is my highest praise.
Chili's Grill & Bar
• What: A sit-down, casual, do-everything franchise restaurant.
• Where: Four locations in Tucson area. Location reviewed is at 5975 W. Arizona Pavilions Drive.
• Parking: Plenty.
• Phone: 572-9065.
THE BILL
• Triple Dipper appetizer: $8.99.
• Fajita Trio: $11.99 (add 99 cents for guacamole).
• Chicken Club Tacos: $7.99.
• Total, before drinks, tax and tip: $29.96.
