Speak soundly

Communication experts have long emphasized the need to strip speech of fillers, replace "you always" with "I feel" and consider body language. But experts say that often, vocal delivery impacts understanding the most.

As much as 38 percent of our message comes from the sound of our voice, communication researchers say.

What if Rhett Butler had delivered his famous "I don't give a damn" line in a Jerry Seinfeld deadpan or a Fran Drescher screech?

Hence, Hartley's problem. It really isn't what she says but how she says it that often determines if people get her message, experts say.

Her problem of sounding timid is a common one for women, says Diane Brennan, a Tucson executive coach who tutors clients on how to sound assertive.

As Hartley critiqued her fellow business communication students, she realized she didn't buy into their speeches if they sounded nervous. She wondered if others would take her more seriously if she didn't sound like a little girl.

Probably, says voice coach Lou Hunt, who teaches women students at Pima Community College and other schools. Consciously or not, Hunt says, women often apologize with their voices, undermining their credibility.

Hartley, without the help of a professional consultant, paid close attention to her pitch and volume. Sometimes she'd get so self-conscious she'd stop talking.

"I don't want to hide my personality," she says, "but I know there's a stereotype."

Eventually, she realized that when nerves hit, her voice got quieter, she talked faster and her pitch shot up.

She saw the eye rolls from other students when professors announced group assignments.

And even when she had prepared and felt solid in her knowledge, the high, quiet, shaky voice made others question her grasp of the subject.

"I intended to sound confident, but I know I didn't come across like that," she says. "The nervous, anxious thing really used to come out, and it was hurtful to what I was trying to do."

But how do we change the way we sound?

Hartley tried to listen to her own voice like others might.

Once she understood she wanted to sound more assertive, she asked questions differently. She raised her voice less, a savvy move, according to UA instructor Diza Sauers.

"Women should speak in declarative sentences," Sauers says. "Don't have anything be a question. That way, the listener doesn't feel like you wanted to raise your hand or add, 'I'm sorry for saying that.' "

Hartley's habit of forcing herself to take a few deep breaths before responding also works, says Sauers, as a shaky voice is often a physical result of too little oxygen.

The 22-year-old UA senior recently interviewed for a position as a financial planner, a field, she points out, men dominate.

She forced herself to breathe and lowered her voice to project self-assurance.

As Hartley answered the interviewers' questions, she focused on dropping the pitch of her voice, speaking louder and breathing regularly to keep her voice steady, all moves that Sauers termed professional.

But sounding confident can go too far. Brennan tells a story of a supervisor of an eight-member team who came to her. He'd say, "This makes no sense to me," or ask, "What was so and so thinking?" Instead of inviting discussion, he made his team defensive, because he used a tone that said, "I'm right."

Brennan's client stressed-out his employees, she says, because he didn't pay attention to how others perceived him.

First, Brennan had her client record and listen to himself. Then, she taught him to listen to other people.

Unlike overcoming a shy voice, which requires speakers to focus on themselves, "the way to cure abruptness is to focus on the audience," Brennan says.

Watch for eye contact and listen for questions. A room full of blank stares or eyes that flick away from the speaker aren't good. Look at faces on which subtle changes in attitude will register. Speak more softly, and inject humor.

Sauers has even more basic advice.

"Men should build in pauses," she says, "especially when they're talking to women."

And while Hartley doesn't know yet if the position she interviewed for is hers, she's certain that altering her voice helped her get into the running.

"I would love to find out if I would get hired for a job if I used my cutesy voice," she says. "I would be concerned I wouldn't."

● Experts suggest creating a few procedures for dealing with high-emotion situations.

l Learn to give yourself a few breaths to calm down if anger creeps in, and learn to allow yourself a pause if you're the type of person who can sound scared.

l Try physically moving to create mental space. Scoot your chair away from the table, or get up for a glass of water or bathroom break before speaking.

● Don't end sentences with a questioning tone.

● Take deep breaths before talking to keep the voice from shaking.

● Don't let your voice get too high or too loud.

● Change your voice on key points. Good inflection helps listeners understand.