● DEAR ABBY: I was recently married. I have a daughter, "Courtney," from a previous relationship. Things were great before the wedding. Afterward, however, things turned sour.
Courtney kept causing problems with my husband, and they both looked to me to work it out. I felt like I was being torn in two.
I left my husband over this. Everyone was telling me I should not let my daughter dictate what was going on in my life. But I'm not going to force my child to live in a home where she does not feel love and does not want to be. Did I make the right decision? I still love my husband, but I must look out for what is best for my daughter. — Second Thoughts in Blue Springs, Mo.
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Although you may have done the right thing in leaving, I think you left too soon.
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Courtney had never had to share her mother's love and attention with anyone before. Before leaving your husband, it would have been better to try family counseling to determine if a licensed professional could improve the level of communication, tolerance and understanding between the "combatants."
● DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old female who lives in a large family. There are two brothers, two sisters, three cousins, one aunt, two uncles, my parents and both my grandparents living here — so things are very open.
When I was 5, one of my uncles started molesting me. It lasted for eight years. After I was 6 or 7, the other uncle began raping me almost daily, and it went on for the next eight years.
I told my parents about the molestation, and we went to the police. But because they didn't do anything about the molestation, I didn't tell them about the everyday rape.
It has been three years since it stopped happening, and my uncle has told me he is sorry. I feel I need someone to talk to about this, but I don't want to tell them who did it. I really need some advice. — Hurting in Hayward, Calif.
DEAR HURTING: Call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). The toll-free number is 1-800-656-4673. No one will "force" you to reveal anything you don't want to. However, after counseling, you may decide to tell the authorities what was done to you, to prevent your uncle from raping and assaulting other family members.