● DEAR ABBY: Here I go, sounding like an old fogy, but "Feeling Lost and Guilty," who said she and her loudmouthed, snotty son are "best friends," has brought her problem on herself. The No. 1 problem of parents today is that they try to be friends with their children rather than parents.
I see that all too often in parents today, including my own daughter, whose teenage daughters walk all over her because "it's easier and less stressful" to allow it than provide guidance. — Disappointed Grandfather, Easton, Pa.
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You are correct in saying that some parents shirk their responsibility by refusing to be firm with their children as well as responsible role models. However, before painting all parents of children with social problems with the same brush, please read on:
● DEAR ABBY: Thank you for advising the mother of "Todd," the teen who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, to seek an evaluation. If the boy has a problem with empathy, it could be that he has Asperger's syndrome, an increasingly common form of mild autism. This is a social disability, often more noticeable in the teenage years, when social expectations are more sophisticated. I should know — I am a school psychologist and also the mother of a 13-year-old with Asperger's. — Mom in Berkeley, Calif.
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● DEAR ABBY: It's time that mother, whose son hasn't learned that "discretion is the better part of valor," teach her son "active listening" skills.
I learned active listening skills more than 30 years ago as a peer counselor in junior high school, and while I was able to adapt some of the skills immediately, others have taken decades to sink in. This is why we plant seeds. Some bloom right away, while others take time to germinate. — Happy Active Listener
● DEAR ABBY: My son has Asperger's, and one of the traits of this condition is the person is very literal in his or her speech and usually says whatever comes to mind. These young people do not understand the social taboo of being brutally honest.
These children often do not understand the "little white lies" that we tell in polite society. On the other hand, if you want an honest answer as to whether you look fat, just ask an Aspie! — Proud Mother of an Aspie in Montana