Forget the smarmy euphemisms. Home may be where the heart is, but what really draws people home is food. If it weren't for food, I might never see my family.
I have stopped taking this personally. Instead, I do what women have done for centuries - use food as a lure and the kitchen to connect.
Once kept behind closed doors, kitchens today are the hub of many homes. I credit women. Over the years, they transformed a room used solely for food storage and cooking into the room where everyone wants to be.
Makes you wonder what the rest of the house is for. A survey released a couple years ago found that the average family spends 175 hours a month in the kitchen, and only 31 hours in the living room. Who spends that much time in the living room?
In its 2010 survey, the Research Institute for Cooking & Kitchen Intelligence found that 30 percent of adults considered their kitchen the center of activity in the home.
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"Ninety-eight percent of my clients want their kitchens to function as an all-purpose living area," says Chicago kitchen designer Rebekah Zaveloff, owner of KitchenLab Design. "One big difference between today and a decade ago is that people are doing more at once in the kitchen: They're cooking, talking on the phone, overseeing homework, watching the news and checking e-mail. Kitchens need to support our multitasking lifestyles."
And lure families home for food and connection.
In another instance of human behavior driving design, here are ways today's kitchens are catching up with how we live in them, and how to make yours even more of a draw:
• Treat it like a living space. Kitchens should look like extensions of living and family rooms. "We're making them less industrial and utilitarian and more comfortable and attractive," says Zaveloff. Hang ornamental mirrors, artwork and chandeliers; add cabinetry that looks like furniture.
• Soften up. To offset a kitchen's hard surfaces, add upholstered benches, easy chairs and pillows. They invite people to do what they do in the kitchen anyway - hang out. If you add an upholstered bench or build one in for table seating, beware: This won't work if your table has four legs, because getting in and out could reduce your ability to have children. Only put a bench with a trestle table.
• Make way for the laptop. In the past four years, the number of people using laptops in their kitchens has almost doubled, from 6 percent in 2006 to 11 percent in 2010, according to the RICKI survey. Thus, a laptop station is a must and great to have when checking a kid's game schedule or searching for a recipe online.
• Install a nerve center. Today's kitchens must have a dedicated place where household members can plug in televisions and laptops, dock iPods and recharge cell phones, says Zaveloff.
• Open the access. Kitchens should ideally be situated adjacent to dining rooms and family rooms. These spaces should share flow and connection. If the door between the kitchen and the family room is small, remove the door, widen the opening and add casings or an arch. In the dining room, plan sight lines so guests feel connected to the kitchen but can't see the dishes.
• Think activity zones. Besides cooking and casual eating, create zones for homework, the laptop, media entertainment, and a little business - all activities that now happen in the kitchen.
• Pull up to the island. Nine times out of 10, a kitchen island is where neighbors settle in to visit or kids pull up for a chat. "People connect in the kitchen," says Zaveloff. "A certain comfort happens in there. You just can't get the same feeling in the living room."
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What Americans do in the kitchen
• Eat meals: 65 percent
• Plan meals: 62 percent
• Talk in person with family/friends: 46 percent
• Talk on phone: 43 percent
• Care for pets: 38 percent
• Sort mail: 38 percent
• Read newspaper: 22 percent
• Entertain: 21 percent
• Watch TV: 21 percent
• Use computer: 11 percent
• Do homework: 10 percent
Source: Research Institute for Cooking & Kitchen Intelligence 2010 Survey.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of the just released "House of Havoc," and "The House Always Wins" (Da Capo Press). Contact her through www.marnijameson.com