Ernesto Portillo Jr. : If Scottsdale-set TV show busts, CBS should look at Tucson

"Tuesday Night Book Club" on CBS is about a group of women who get together to talk about what women supposedly talk about when guys aren't around.

The women "deal with the day-to-day pressures of raising kids, maintaining households, satisfying their husbands and keeping it together on a personal level," the network's Web site says.

But some Scottsdale residents, The Arizona Republic reports, are aghast.

"Every woman who lives in or near Scottsdale should be offended," a Scottsdale woman told the newspaper. "We aren't what the show portrays."

I can't say. I haven't watched the program. I don't go to Scottsdale. I don't even know anyone who lives there.

But how about a program about working women with real-world concerns who take on their issues and their men with humor and uncertainty?

Here's my pitch to the networks: "Las Muchachas of Hollywood."

Imagine six women from Barrio Hollywood on Tucson's West Side. They work and take care of their families. On Sunday nights they get together to talk, laugh and vent about their men and their children.

Tencha, at 55, is the oldest. She owns a tortilleria in the barrio. She has four children, none of whom want to continue the family's tortilla-making business.

She is unhappily married to a county road-repair worker whose idea of a night out is to drive three blocks to Pat's Chili Dogs on North Grande Avenue.

Then there's Ruby, the best cook in the barrio. She's known for her green corn tamales, Sonora-style enchiladas and her specialty, red mole. She used to cook at El Charro Cafe Downtown but now stays home to care for her husband, a disabled copper miner.

Her real talent is to collect barrio gossip. "Oye comadre, did you know?" is how she starts her chisme. The muchachas love the gossip — except when it's about them.

Rosa and Lupe are sisters. They were born in the barrio, attended Cholla High School and have lived next door since they married 20 years ago. Rosa works at a Downtown bank and is divorced. She suspects Lupe, who is married and works as a lab technician at St. Mary's Hospital, had an affair with her ex, but Rosa never confronted her sister.

Just as well. Rosa didn't like him anyway. "He is lazy," she says. "Es un hombre flojo."

Terry and her public-school teacher husband of 10 years have three children who attend nearby Manzo Elementary School. The children are bright and tops in their classes. Terry, who attends daily Mass at St. Margaret Catholic Church, brags about them incessantly, which drives her comadres nuts.

The last muchacha is Griselda, the youngest and prettiest. She's 23 and an undocumented immigrant from El Salvador. Her husband, José, is a legal resident. He drives a Coca-Cola truck.

They have no children and are happily married although she would like to have children. Tencha often gives Griselda "tips" on how to get pregnant. The women snicker. They say how they would like to get pregnant by the guapo José.

CBS may bomb with its Scottsdale show. If it does, it might want to talk to me about my idea about a new pilot program. Barrio Hollywood, where Tucson's stars live, would love it.