As the old Christmas carol says, it's the most wonderful time of the year, with the kids jingle-belling and everyone telling you to "be of good cheer."
Which makes it a particularly difficult time of year for people who have experienced loss — of a job, a loved one, a relationship — and just aren't feeling the holiday spirit.
That's where "Blue Christmas" church services come in.
A relatively new tradition that has been springing up at churches for the past few years, Blue Christmas provides an outlet for people who are tired of having to "be strong" and pretend there's nothing wrong during the holidays so they don't bring down other people's cheer.
"It's a relatively new development for the church, as far as church traditions go," said the Rev. Bruce Van Roekel, senior pastor at Casas Adobes Congregational United Church of Christ, 6801 N. Oracle Road.
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Van Roekel will present a Blue Christmas service for the fourth year at 5 p.m. on Sunday.
"Churches across the country were noticing a need for something like that, in the midst of Christmas," said Kate Bradley, assistant rector at Midtown's Grace St. Paul's Episcopal Church, which also has held a Blue Christmas service for about as long as Casas Adobes Congregational.
Grace St. Paul's service draws about 75 to 100 people, Bradley said.
It's possible it has taken so long for churches to catch on to this need because the Christian tradition holds the story of Christ's birth as such a joyful event, she said.
The service at Casas Adobes Congregational has historically been smaller than what Bradley described, Van Roekel said. But the goal of the service isn't high attendance, he said.
"If it's important to even a few people, I'll go ahead and do it," he said.
Sometimes the loss is painfully recent, and for others it may have happened decades ago but hurts most during the holidays, he said.
One woman who lost her husband more than 40 years ago comes to Blue Christmas because the loss still feels immediate to her when the holidays set in, he said.
"It's a time together where you don't have to pretend everything's OK through the holiday season," he said.
If people don't have an outlet to express their grief, "inevitably it will assert itself, usually when Uncle Harry's on the other side of the table at Christmas," Van Roekel said.
"It's about holding joy and sorrow in tension, in a way," Bradley said.
During Grace St. Paul's service, traditional hymns are sung and then people have an opportunity to write down on a piece of paper something that is making them sad and hang the paper on a Christmas tree.
At Casas Adobes Congregational, Van Roekel said the music — which he considers a vital part of any religious service — is more low-key than at the traditional holiday celebration, and he likes to focus on reading from Scriptures where loss is recognized as a viable part of Christianity.
He might incorporate poetry or read from a children's book such as "Christmas with Grandfather" or "The Runaway Bunny," he said.
"It cuts right through the tradition and proper training of the season and gets right to the heart of the issue," he said.
It's important at these times for people to identify what's real instead of what's proper, he said.
Having a place to process loss frees people to celebrate, Van Roekel said. The guilt they feel for having a good time is diminished.
People are welcome to attend the service whether or not they are members of the church, said Susan Stevens Whitney, publicity chairwoman for Casas Adobes Congregational.
"This is one of the things our church does that isn't necessarily touted as a great or popular thing but is necessary," she said.
What: "Blue Christmas" church service for people coping with loss during the holidays.
When: 5 p.m. Sunday.
Where: Casas Adobes Congregational United Church of Christ, 6801 N. Oracle Road.
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