Local opinion: Admitting and defending disbelief at holiday time

In today’s world, clear and unambiguous understanding of terminology is paramount. Here are definitions of three often misunderstood words:

Atheism: Disbelief in the existence of gods. Atheism is not a religion or a philosophy.

Agnosticism: The belief that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of deities. It reflects the extent and limitations of human knowledge.

Freethinker: One who forms opinions based on reason independently of authority; one who rejects or is skeptical of religious dogma.

Christmas and Passover can be difficult times for non-believers. These holidays and their respective traditions reinforce connections, unity, and harmony between friends and family as everyone celebrates together.

But, for family members who have lost their faith, “coming out” as an atheist, agnostic, or freethinker during the holidays can be stressful and problematic.

Should they attend church or join Passover Seders, especially if these have been longstanding traditions?

Will this participation make them feel uncomfortable and/or hypocritical?

The question of how, where, when, and even if people should reveal their disbelief in God can be a prickly issue at any time of year. But during holiday time, this can be particularly awkward. Will friends and family respect this admission, or find it and its timing confusing, disrespectful, or even offensive? Will it put a pall over the festivities? Alternatively, would all concerned appreciate knowing this news beforehand, so they don’t unintentionally make “converts” feel uncomfortable?

This dilemma is becoming more common as the latest surveys indicate that religious belief in our country is declining, and the religiously unaffiliated are increasing. Indeed, more than a quarter of our nation observes that the world works exactly as expected were there no deities.

Those who intend to make this reveal might need a pep talk from someone who has been in the freethought trenches for many years.

First, congratulations for seeing the light of rationality and making a decision that reflects intellectual integrity. Welcome and embrace your liberation from the yoke of religious dogma.

Second, don’t feel obligated to apologize for your “conversion”. Declare it proudly and with conviction. You may likely be speaking to people who themselves harbor doubts about their own beliefs.

Feel confident that your decision is principled. Why? Because you have accepted science, reason, experience, and common sense as the most powerful tools to understand, explain, gain knowledge, and accurately describe our world. To those who doubt that fact, ask them to name a single scientific or philosophical discovery or advancement that is provably attributable to divine intervention.

You’re in good company too. Over 90% of the 2000 members of the National Academy of Sciences are atheists or agnostics.

Be humble. Acknowledge that reason-based thinking may never answer the ultimate existential question of “What’s it all about?” But that’s ok. You now have the gift that religionists lack: The ability, comfort, and certitude to say, “I don’t know.”

Indeed, freethinkers are baffled why, in the 21st century, do so many otherwise intelligent and educated people — in the most advanced country on earth — continue to believe that information derived from ancient holy texts is the preferred pathway to accurately make sense of our world. Really?

But be prepared to be interrogated about your beliefs. Here is a sampling of likely questions and brief answers.

How, without God, can you:

… deny objective morality? Answer: Morality has been shown to be a product of human development over thousands of years. And please …, this deity who committed genocide, endorsed slavery and rape, and has allowed His creations to undergo millennia of unspeakable suffering (both man-made and natural), is in no position whatsoever to command or counsel us about right and wrong.

… find meaning and purpose in life? Answer: Meaning and purpose are self-generated.

…be saved from going to hell? Answer: Hell is only in the mind of the believer — i.e.: no belief, no hell. Freethinkers accept this life as our only one. There is no evidence of an afterlife, good or bad.

… cope with hardship? Answer: Our universe is exquisitely indifferent to all that exists. Accept that. Freethinkers trust in secular humanism because it uses reason and science to understand the cosmos and solve human problems. We rely on the innate goodness, empathy, and helping hands of our fellow man to get us through rough times. This gives us hope and comfort.

Ask your questioners to ponder the late astronomer Carl Sagan’s sage advice that “It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

At this holiday time, to those who no longer believe in the unbelievable, I sympathize with your feelings of vulnerability. However, be considerate and respectful in how you declare your disbelief, especially if you think doing so may be too hurtful and upsetting to family and friends.

Happy Winter Solstice to all!