The Oscars ought to be a lot more like "Fear Factor." Give an award for "worst thing an actor/actress has to go through on the shoot."
And nominate the six women of "The Descent" for that one. This grueling trapped-in-a-cave-with-boogeymen movie is a solid thriller — and a terrific horror experience.
It's smart, with deep psychological threads tying the six together and tearing them apart.
It's spooky and claustrophobic, as any good movie set among spelunkers should be.
It's gory, with primal kill-or-be-killed moments, wretch-worthy immersion in blood and brain matter, guts and body parts.
And these women (Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Alex Reid, Nora-Jane Noone, MyAnna Buring and Saskia Mulder) take it — the eye-gouging, ice axes through flesh, immersion in a pool of blood and gore.
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The plot: Thrill-seeking British twentysomethings recover from the tragedy one of them experienced after a Scottish whitewater-rafting trip by trekking to America. To Appalachia, actually, for a little caving.
Cue the banjos.
The women drop into that hole in the ground with issues — of trust and betrayal, arrogance and uncertainty about each new life-and-limb-risking adventure.
Juno (Mendoza) is the tough one who plans these outings. Holly (Noone of "The Magdalene Sisters") is her punkish protégé. Sarah (Macdonald) is the one who suffered a tragic loss. There's also a doctor, a schoolteacher and a ninny who is more than she seems.
Into the cave they go. Mistakes are made. Things go wrong. Problems "cascade."
Writer/director Neil Marshall's movie is technically sharp in the spelunking/rappelling stuff. He could have managed a superior thriller just putting these women in an underground jam and seeing who cracked.
But there's something down there with them. And before you can say "Gollum, Gollum," the lovelies are picked off, one by one. After an hour setting this up, Marshall strips away the mystery of what that "something" is too quickly, and shows it (them) too often.
What ensues is your basic body-count video game/thrill ride of a movie, set in the dark and the wet.
And not all that's wet is water.
The movie slowly, deliberately treks from cheap scares to "real" ones. And as it does, you'll want to see this with an audience. Revel in the shrieks, experience momentary relief and instantaneous fear. Enjoy the ride.
And give those women that special Oscar. Before they put us through the ringer, they went through one themselves. It was totally worth it.
review
The Descent
***
Rated: R for strong violence/gore and language
Cast: Shauna Macdonald, Alex Reid, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Nora-Jane Noone, MyAnna Buring, Saskia Mulder
Director: Neil Marshall
Family call: Not for children.
Running time: 93 minutes
Opens Friday at: Park Place, El Con, Century Park, Foothills, Desert Sky, Cinemark
