JT & Dale Talk Jobs: When your rich mother-in-law wants you to quit working

Recently at a dinner with his mom, I mentioned that I was going for a promotion at work and was hoping it wouldn’t interfere with the honeymoon. She responded that she assumed I would quit my job since I would no longer need to work. I was horrified and didn’t know what to say. I know you’re not marriage counselors, but any advice on how I can at least explain to her that working is important to me? — Ada

J.T.: First question: Have you discussed this with your future husband? Second, did he think that you were going to quit your job? If not, then why do you need to discuss it with your mother-in-law? The two of you are planning your life together and that includes you feeling satisfied and successful in your career. If he is in agreement and you both are on track, then there’s nothing to worry about.

DALE: That’s true, unless you’re dealing with the sort of spoiled parent who is so used to getting her way that she’ll use the family wealth as a weapon. There’s a recent HBO series called “White Lotus” with this as one of its major plots. Perhaps you and your husband should watch it together. Meanwhile, being practical, the discussion could be of use to you in negotiating a prenup. One reason to keep working is in case something happens to him or the marriage and you need to support yourself.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I’m sure you’ve answered this before, but what’s the difference between a resume and a CV? I just applied to a firm that is headquartered in Europe and they asked for my CV. — Nathan

DALE: The “curriculum vitae” (Latin for “course of life”) is normally longer and includes more detail, especially academic accomplishments.

J.T.: However, as the world has gone online and become more global, I have seen the difference between resumes and CVs diminish drastically. I would say that foreign countries often share more personal information and go into deeper explanations of their past on their CVs, whereas resumes in the U.S. are designed to be skimmable. (Studies show that recruiters spend only about 6 to 13 seconds on a resume.) In our experience, a shorter resume that gives the recruiter just enough information so that they want to learn more is the way to go. So, I suggest you submit your resume and spend some time creating an interesting cover letter that tells how you feel connected to the employer. Cover letters should not be a regurgitation of your resume; instead, they should tell the story of why you are excited about the idea of working for the organization. A really good cover letter will make a resume or CV difference less important because the right story will get their attention regardless of what’s on the resume or the CV.