Dear J.T. & Dale: I have been working for my boss for two years, but now it’s time for me to find a new job. I feel so guilty, because my boss is going to be surprised and upset. There is nothing she can do to keep me, but how can I tell her I’m looking for a new job, so she isn’t blindsided? — Sydney
DALE: It does you credit that you care about your boss. And while your concern says a lot about you, it also says something important about your boss: The same traits that make your boss unaware or clingy (or whatever else it is that you fear in her reaction) make her someone you don’t want to count on to have the kind of smooth, professional transition you’re hoping for. In fact, the only boss you could count on to respond well would be a boss you’d never want to leave.
J.T.: Do not tell her you are looking. First of all, finding a new job could take you a while, and the moment you tell her, it’ll be hanging over her head, knowing that at any time you can walk in, and it could be your last day. That could make her want to resolve the issue, and she might even let you go. Additionally, as you go on interviews, you might just figure out that you don’t want to leave after all. I’ve seen this happen quite a bit.
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DALE: It is also common for a boss — especially the sort who refers to employees as “family” — to take an employee’s leaving as a personal affront. When you announce that you don’t want to be part of the “family” anymore, it can turn ugly.
Dear J.T. & Dale: I am ready to move to a new state, but I would like to get a job there before I move. I don’t have enough money saved up to not be working. Any suggestions? — Thom
DALE: This has always been the classic stand-off: You don’t want to move without a new job, and almost no one wants to hire someone who isn’t already local (unless you’re a hard-to-find specialist). However, here in the Yet Another New Economy, there’s an option: search for companies with remote employees. Then, once you relocate and settle in, you’ll be in a position to explore more local options.
Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a career coach and the founder of the leading career site www.workitdaily.com. Dale Dauten is founder of The Innovators’ Lab and author of a novel about HR, “The Weary Optimist.” Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 628 Virginia Dr., Orlando, FL 32803.
