Q: I thought I was doing OK with this virus issue until my ability to figure out simple things disappeared. Every day I wake up flooded by new problems I've never had before. Even my technology seems to be breaking. The other day I melted down because I couldn't even order groceries online. How can anyone find any peace in the middle of this situation?
A: You can find peace in the middle of this situation in two ways: 1) Finally make the journey to the center of yourself that you may have been too distracted to do before; 2) Find a spiritual source that works for you to be your refuge.
If you focus only on the intense storm going on in the world, there will be no peace for you. If you can turn your vision inward, there is refuge in the center of yourself that is an eye of any hurricane.
Many of our lives do feel unmanageable right now. The natural world is certainly making it clear that she and not we has always been in control. We cannot now believe that nature is subordinate to our will or that our personal ego is adequate to run our lives.
People are also reading…
Without starting any holy wars, the basic idea is that a connection with our soul, as we understand it, may be essential to finding sanity.
During a meditation at the end of 2019, I had an image of standing in a beautiful snowy forest facing a cozy home softly lit at twilight. In the image the snow began lightly falling on my shoulders. The words, "If you can see the world through the eyes of the soul, then the peace of the soul will fall upon you like new falling snow, and if you see the world through the eyes of the ego then you will suffer" came to me.
I cannot prove to any reader that there is a benevolent intelligence looking out for you. What I do know is experimenting with the theory that there is a refuge within yourself in the form of a connection to a higher intelligence is comforting and may surprise you.
Our humility and kindness right now with ourselves, each other and a willingness to look inside to discover a spiritual refuge could help. I profoundly believe we will eventually come out of this better than we went into it. I think we will discover better ways of working, clarity about what matters, better work/life balance and more self-sufficiency (cooking anyone?).
When it comes to stress relief, Americans are turning to exercise, sleeping, watching T.V., and other forms of coping, according to a new study from CBDistillery.
Look at global events through the eyes of the soul. What perceptions might you experience with this perspective and what peace may be available? If your life has become unmanageable, seek the refuge of those you love and the possibility there is something larger than you in charge.
In the middle of this storm, we may discover the divine within ourselves.
Develop patience in the waiting room of life
Q: I'm working from home, actually overworking, from home. I read the news but cannot tell what is going to happen next. I'm pacing around my house like a tiger and really over this whole shelter-in-place thing. Are there any tools to not go completely nuts with no idea how long I have to deal with my current situation?
A: Yes, realize waiting is the hardest part of this COVID-19 journey. We have cabin fever, and no guarantees are coming from experts. Scared and waiting is a bad combo!
Psychological research indicates that we cope better with bad news than no news and what we've got right now is no news.
On top of all this stress, if you have a job, you are probably overemployed right now. Who knew that working from home during a pandemic means that if your job is important normally, it is really, really important right now!
Coping means remembering your current situation is a short phase. There is an end in sight. Make plans for what you want to do as you emerge into the sunlight cautiously in May.
Consider that nobody loves waiting; we love arriving. Yet most of life exists in a waiting room. We wait to grow up, graduate, fall in love, get a job, get a better job, have a baby, and wait for baby to grow up. Because we spend so much time waiting, our crisis gives us the chance to develop acceptance of the anxiety that waiting creates.
We won't immediately go back to who we were in February. We won't have the security to confidently return to our lives until we have a vaccine, effective combo of meds that prevent lethality, or complete remission of new cases. We can, however, live enjoyable lives while still being cautious.
Be OK about feeling upset and still practice making good choices. Most of how life turns out isn't avoiding feeling bad but whether we act badly. We will feel crappy at times right now, but we can make choices that will benefit us in the long run.
In the meantime, with your nose pressed against the glass wondering, 'Are we there yet?' you can count on your situation changing. We changed into the pandemic and we will change out of it. In the future you will still be waiting, for a vacation, for a date or for a promotion. What you have the chance to develop is patience in the perpetual waiting room of life.
Daneen Skube, Ph.D., executive coach, trainer, therapist and speaker, also appears as the FOX Channel's "Workplace Guru" each Monday morning. She's the author of "Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, About Anything" (Hay House, 2006).
