He lost his father in Iraq; 20 years later, he wears the uniform himself

"I love you very much, and your sisters," said the message from 1st Sgt. Bobby Mendez, a 38-year-old military intelligence analyst.

The Army sergeant was killed later that day, April 27, 2006, when his vehicle was hit by a homemade bomb in Baghdad. He was the 17th service member with ties to Southern Arizona to die in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Twenty years later, the Sierra Vista boy who lost his dad that day now serves in the Army himself as a combat medic.

"Me and my dad were really close," Quentin said. "He taught me to be the man of the house, to make sure my mom and sisters were taken care of."

He recalled the day he lost his dad as "unreal." After a kids' soccer game and birthday dinner, Quentin, his mom and sisters received a knock at the door from the casualty assistance team. His youngest sister, Chyanne, was already in bed, but the two older siblings stood near their mom, Jennifer Mendez, as she received the news.

"We didn't think that it could happen, especially on that day," Quentin said. "It was hard after that, when you don't have that father figure growing up to tell you what's good, what's bad."

He said the family had a solid support system around them, but he owed a lot of who he is now to his mom.

"My mom played mom and dad for us," he said. "She gave her best to us so we could have a good life."

While he'd thought of going into the military before his father's death, he said the incident only drove his desire to get there faster to honor his dad. The hard part, he said, was choosing to be a combat medic.

"It's a very risky role, but it was probably the best decision I've ever made, being able to help thousands of soldiers," Quentin said. "Being able to change people's lives has always been my goal. If I can help one person, then my purpose is valid."

Last month marked the 20th anniversary of Sgt. Mendez's death. Quentin's mom, Jennifer and his oldest sister, Thyienna, wanted to plan a family vacation for that week, but Quentin was needed at a conference in San Antonio.

"We were able to drive down there and surprise him for his birthday," Jennifer said. "We went to Sea World the day that he flew in, and then the following day he had a conference, so we took him out to  dinner."

Thyiena said she thought it was important for the family to be together and "acknowledge that it's been 20 years."

"It has been such a long time, but it's flown by," she said.

The family shared memories of their father while out at dinner, she said. She characterized him as a charismatic, personable sports enthusiast who always wanted to bond with his kids over baseball and soccer.

"I remember growing up we had a WWE wrestling belt, and we would even have competitions," Thyiena said.

"It could be a year, it could be 20 years, but the pain is always going to be there. ... There's certain triggers that I didn't realize before that I do have now, but I think it was really important for us to just be together and talk about it."

Quentin said that though it's a weight that still remains on his shoulders, he chooses to honor and celebrate his father every birthday.

"I always make it about him, because he's the one that made that sacrifice," he said. "It's one of the best things I could do."

Jennifer said she and her daughters used to attend Memorial Day services at Fort Huachuca, where Bobby was a military intelligence instructor, but have taken to camping the last six years as a new tradition.

Now that Thyiena has her own children, she said she takes the time every military holiday to talk about the differences between Memorial Day and Veterans Day on their family trips.

"I always tell them that this is the holiday that we observe for their grandpa," she said.