Q When a conflict arises between me and a co-worker, what's the best way to work through that conflict? And what if the disagreement involves an ethical issue that could hurt the company's reputation? At what point should management become involved?
A I suggest that you try an eight-point strategy for resolving office conflicts.
First, recognize that while your main goal is to resolve the problem, you want to do this in a way that will allow your relationship with your co-worker to grow.
Second, don't talk to the other person without having a solution in mind.
Third, before meeting with your colleague, wait until you've settled down enough to converse calmly.
Fourth, ask to meet privately, so your co-worker won't feel embarrassed by other people overhearing your conversation.
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Fifth, begin the meeting by giving your own perspective, then ask for his or her views (or, alternatively, ask for the other person's perspective, then explain what's on your mind).
Sixth, be open-minded to the other person's take on the situation; seeing the issue through his or her eyes may cause you to adjust your solution.
Seventh, propose your own remedy, then use this as a starting point to negotiate a solution you both can live with.
Eighth, be sure to ask your co-worker directly for his or her buy-in on your joint solution. Without an explicit agreement, all your previous effort will be for naught.
Finally, if the issue involves an ethical conflict and you're not satisfied with your co-worker's response, you'll need to take the matter to your manager or to human resources.
QWhen taking a client out to lunch or dinner, what's the rule of thumb regarding when it's appropriate to start talking business?
A Business meals have two important components: One involves conducting any business the host wants to address; the other involves an opportunity to build a relationship. It's important to leave time for both.At business lunches or power breakfasts, the service tends to be faster and the meals typically have fewer courses. Therefore, "getting down to business" occurs sooner. At these meals, it's usually acceptable to start talking business once the waiter has taken your order.
At a dinner, when the pace is slower, business talk usually commences after the main course. In either case, the host should always initiate any discussion of business matters.